Lipstick
by setepenre-set
Summary: Roxanne slips away from the mayor's birthday gala to search for a piece of evidence that will break the story of governmental corruption in Metro City wide open. Unbeknownst to Roxanne, however, Megamind is at the party, too. And the city's supervillain wants the same thing as the city's nosiest reporter... Don't copy to another site.
1. Chapter 1

Roxanne finished applying her lipstick and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

Her lips twisted with dissatisfaction. She looked—

The gown she was wearing was made of wine colored silk; it was comfortable, as far as formal gowns went, and it fit her well—the hem just brushed the floor, so she wouldn't be stepping on the edge of it all night; the neckline was flatteringly heart-shaped, but didn't plunge so deeply that she'd be worrying about the risks of accidental exposure; the waistline hit her waist perfectly; the straps were secure.

Yes, it did fit her well, and she'd certainly liked it well enough when she'd looked at it in the dressing room of the shop—

Which was why, of course, she'd went ahead and bought the thing in multiple colors.

 _(Roxanne Ritchi, miss vanilla-as-they-come, miss 'I bought the same dress in three different colors'—don't tell me you really think that she's—)_

Roxanne shoved the memory violently away and glared at her reflection. Yes, all right, so she'd worn the black version of this gown to the city new year's party, and she'd worn the grey version to the celebration of the opening of the new charity hospital two months ago! It wasn't like she could go out and buy another gown tonight; she was supposed to be at city hall for the mayor's birthday gala in twenty minutes.

And what did it matter what she wore, anyway? It didn't! It wasn't like she had a date; not even a fake date this time; Wayne had made sure everybody knew that, in that particularly humiliating magazine interview yesterday.

( _oh but Roxy I thought you wanted everybody to stop thinking we were a couple_ , and yes, she had; of course she had, and to be fair she had been relieved when she first read the article; the real humiliation of it hadn't struck her until she'd overhead that—)

It didn't matter. She was on a mission, tonight; it wasn't like she actually cared about the stupid gala, or what anybody thought of her apparently terrible dress sense or evident lack of sex appeal!

Roxanne turned away from her reflection and tugged on her long black opera gloves. Then she swept her things into her beaded clutch handbag—cellphone, keys, driver's license, bandaids in case her shoes gave her blisters, aspirin in case the party guests gave her a headache, hairpins—Roxanne had seen Megamind pick a lock with a hairpin once, and had been more impressed than she'd wanted to let on. A few leading questions and she'd had him explaining it to her. Explaining quite clearly, really—when she'd tried the trick for herself, later, she'd managed it on the first attempt.

He was good at explaining things. An unfortunate trait in a supervillain. If he'd just stop monologuing to her about the minute details of each evil plot and doomsday device, he'd have much better luck against Metro Man.

She put the lipstick tubes in her purse last of all, the dark red color that she was already wearing, and the other, special lipstick tube, too. Then she snapped her bag shut and very pointedly did not look at her reflection in the mirror as she left her bedroom.

* * *

As far as unpleasant social situations went, Roxanne thought, there was really nothing quite like the growing conviction that you were wearing the wrong sort of dress.

Roxanne had known people would notice her wearing the same gown in a different color for the third time in a row. She had been prepared for that.

What she had not been prepared for was the fact that, sometime between the first wearing and the third wearing, the dress had actually gone out of style.

All of the other women were wearing bright, shimmery things, all beading and embroidery and floating iridescent fabric. Gowns bared the wearer's shoulders, or their backs, or their décolletage in daring plunging necklines.

Roxanne's plain, dark dress looked severely modest and austere in comparison.

She hadn't worn any jewelry besides her pearl stud earrings; all of the other women were wearing jewelry! She was the only one wearing gloves! When the hell had evening gloves stopped being a thing?

The entire outfit was a disaster.

Which was not only embarrassing, but also extremely inconvenient. Sticking out so badly made it much harder for her to slip away from the party discreetly. She was already the subject of covert stares and whispering, what with that damned tabloid article earlier this week, and then Wayne's interview yesterday—and then she had to go and wear the most conspicuously wrong gown possible.

She'd been forced to strategically withdraw into the shadow of a large statue of Metro Man by the hallway doors and pretend to drink champagne for fifteen minutes. Wayne himself had come by at first, and talked to her, which was also exactly what she didn't want, but eventually he'd gone away, leaving her alone.

Her dress blended into the shadows, and after she'd stood there long enough, everyone got used to seeing her there—so used to seeing her there that they ceased to actually see her at all, their eyes sliding past her as they moved around the room, talking and eating and dancing.

Roxanne drew even further into the shadow and set her untasted champagne down on the base of the statue. Then she slipped out the doors and into the hallway.

She walked straight on, into the entrance hall, where the party guests had all stood in line earlier to get into the ballroom. It was empty now.

On the far side of the entrance hall, a velvet rope strung between short brass poles marked the point beyond which the public was not permitted. As if to make the demarkation that much clearer, the electric lights on the far side of the velvet rope had not been lit, leaving the hall beyond the velvet rope in darkness.

When she reached this boundary, Roxanne, without hesitation, turned sideways and slipped between one brass pole and the wall.

High heels clicking softly in the silence of the deserted corridor, Roxanne made her way down the forbidden hallway, away from the light and laughter of the party, and into the dark.

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**


	2. Chapter 2

Megamind was beginning to think he had been—precipitate—in deciding to test the disguise watch now.

But it had seemed like such a perfect opportunity for a test! He needed to break into the mayor's office and retrieve that file, and the party would provide the perfect distraction—and when the file was found to be missing, the mayor would be much more likely to suspect one of the party guests, rather than Megamind, who, as far as anyone would know, hadn't even been there.

Never mind Minion's objection that the watch was just a prototype and so far they still hadn't been able to get the hard light to render clothing! Megamind was perfectly capable of wearing normal human formal wear!

Wearing it for an interminably long amount of time.

In a large crowd of people.

Who all hated him.

Without his usual suit and spikes for protection.

…and, since the city hall security team searched the guests before letting them into the building, also unarmed except for a pocket knife oh yes this hadn't been a bad idea at _all_.

 _You are not going to have a panic attack_ , he told himself unconvincingly as yet another person jostled his elbow unexpectedly, _you are not going to have a panic attack. Just breathe! Just—_

The sea of people parted for just a moment, and Megamind saw—

 _Roxanne_.

—and stopped breathing for another reason entirely.

Here. She was here. They were in the same place and she wasn't tied up and no one was screaming and there wasn't any doomsday device for him to concern himself with and he could just

exist.

In this place with her.

(the next time his elbow was jostled, Megamind barely even noticed.)

Roxanne's gown was dark red, a mark of bold color in a sea of pastel, and there was a kind of simple elegance to it that instantly made every other dress in the room look gaudy and cheap in comparison.

Her lips were the same dark red as her dress, and she had on long, dark evening gloves that Megamind found himself instantly and vividly fantasizing about her removing very slowly—

He pulled his thoughts away from that image with a jerk, flushing hot—he was in public, good lord; bad enough to fantasize about her in private, but even more inappropriate to do it here.

The crowd shifted and Megamind lost sight of her.

He swallowed, trying to get ahold of himself. He'd known she would be here, damn it, and yet, as always, the sight of her, the fact of her, still knocked him—

 _Head over heels_ , he thought.

—god, he was such an idiot.

And he needed to get himself under control, or someone was going to really seriously notice his idiocy; that tabloid article had—

He'd moved across the ballroom floor, he realized, without meaning to, moved in the direction of her, as if she'd pulled him to her on an invisible thread.

She was standing next to a large statue of Metro Man with a champagne glass in her hand. Standing alone. For one insane moment, Megamind considered going to talk to her. He wavered in indecision, and then—

Metro Man—Wayne—was there with her, suddenly, saying—something; Megamind couldn't hear what—to Roxanne.

Megamind narrowed his eyes, but Roxanne gave Wayne a smile and started to answer.

Not wanting to be caught staring, Megamind moved away from them before casually doubling back.

They were still talking. Roxanne looked—well, she didn't look overjoyed, but there was none of that—tension—in her manner that he would have expected after a breakup.

A breakup handled by Metro Man in the most disrespectful way possible; he'd given an interview claiming that he had actually never been in a relationship with Roxanne, which was—

—ludicrous.

Of course it was ludicrous.

As Megamind watched, Roxanne said something to Wayne, gesturing idly with her champagne glass, and Wayne laughed.

Megamind's lips twisted into a sneer.

Didn't Wayne feel guilty at all for breaking up with her? And for such a—a—a trivial reason, that tabloid article claiming that she was having a secret affair with Megamind, which clearly and obviously wasn't true! Not only would Roxanne never in a thousand years touch Megamind, of all people, but, even more importantly—Roxanne wasn't that kind of person. She wouldn't do something like that. Anyone who knew her would know that.

Didn't Wayne feel guilty at all?! Didn't Roxanne feel angry at all?! Didn't—

Megamind moved with studied casualness in another direction, and then doubled back again towards the two of them.

They were still talking to each other in a way that was—distressingly and incorrectly normal!

Why—

—unless—

 _—unless there hadn't been a breakup._

Unless it was some kind of plot between the two of them to get Megamind to stop kidnapping her by pretending that they weren't dating _oh god oh god the tabloid she'd figured it out she'd figured out he was in love with her and—_

Megamind fairly fled to the other side of the ballroom. There was a convenient pillar in the corner; he took cover behind it.

 _oh god oh god oh no please no—_

No. _No!_ That couldn't be it. It couldn't be! If they'd done it to trick Megamind, they would have framed it as an actual breakup; they wouldn't have pretended they'd never been dating!

They knew he wouldn't believe that; Roxanne had insisted for months, during the early days of the kidnapping, that she and Metro Man weren't dating, and Megamind had never believed her and—

—and—

—and.

The world seemed suddenly to go slow and quiet around Megamind, as if the room was filled with water instead of air, everything muted and distant and oddly slowed.

Holy shit.

Holy shit; _had she been telling the truth?_

Surely not. Surely _the fuck_ not.

Megamind shook his head and the world snapped back into place and he needed to—needed to think; needed to—

He needed to _not_ think. He needed to _not think about this_ , because if he did, he really _was_ going to have a panic attack and this was not the place and he needed to _focus_.

Megamind mentally shoved the question of Roxanne and Metro Man violently aside.

He would think about it _later_. He would figure it out _later_.

He was here for a _reason_.

To get that damn file.

Which was what he was going to do.

 _(later later later think about it later)_

He managed, after several false starts, to make his way across the ballroom again, mentally steeling himself to walk past Roxanne and Metro Man on his way into the hall. When he got there, though, he saw to his relief that they were both gone.

Thank evil heaven.

Megamind slipped quietly out the door and began to walk in the direction of the velvet rope that separated the brightly lit entrance hall from the dark corridors of the rest of the building.

* * *

Once she'd made her way upstairs and found the mayor's office, the lock on the door proved easy to pick. Roxanne did it quickly, and then stepped inside and closed the door behind herself.

She didn't turn on the lights; she didn't want someone to notice, and besides, the wall behind the mayor's desk was entirely windows, and the light of the city that came through them was more than enough to see by.

Roxanne went to the desk, and turned on the computer, first.

(not even password locked; how very stupid)

A search through the computer yielded nothing, though—it had to be an audio file, or possibly video; when she'd overheard the Mayor and Judge Sludd talking two weeks ago, the Mayor had sounded as if what he had was absolutely positive and incriminating.

 _Don't you threaten me, Sludd; I've got proof on all of you; real proof, and it wasn't Nixon who went to prison!_

—'real proof', and the reference to _Nixon_ —it had to be audio at least.

No video or audio files on the computer—but—ooh—an audio recording application hidden away in one of the files, and—

Roxanne examined the computer itself. Hidden microphone; hidden microphone—there had to be—where was—

She looked closely at the mouse. Ahh, yes. There it was.

So. He'd recorded the audio with the microphone hidden in the computer mouse—recorded it onto the computer—and then transferred it onto some kind of disc, deleting it from the computer itself, just as Roxanne had suspected he might. So very satisfying to have her hunch confirmed, but it did complicate the search.

Roxanne opened the desk drawers and rifled through them. No flash drives, no discs, nothing, just pens and thumbtacks and rubber bands. And a Metro Man pez dispenser.

Roxanne picked it up, rolling her eyes. The sheer amount of Metro Man merchandise in this city was absolutely ridiculous. She flicked the plastic head back absently, but apparently it was empty; no pez appeared. Roxanne went to replace it in the desk drawer, and then something—

—there was something not right; something wrong with the thing in her hand; something that didn't make sense. What—?

It was too heavy, Roxanne realized. Too heavy for a pez dispenser in general, if she remembered her childhood right, and definitely too heavy for an empty pez dispenser.

She pulled the plastic head, tugging the thing open as if she was going to refill it.

There was a flash drive inside.

A slow, gleeful smile began to curve Roxanne's lips.

* * *

 _...to be continued._

* * *

 **notes: Happy day six of my Birthday Fic Month! I'm going to change the rating of this story to M when I publish the next chapter, so if you want to continue reading, make sure to change your viewing options to show M stories! I hope you all liked the new chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

Megamind was mildly surprised to find that the mayor's office door was already unlocked—the man must be even more careless than Megamind had previously assumed.

The handle turned easily in his hand; Megamind opened the door, stepped inside, and closed the door quietly behind himself. Then he quickly turned off the disguise watch.

Megamind really did need to do some work on this prototype; by the time he'd made it to the mayor's office, the watch had gone worryingly hot on his wrist. He'd have to the let the mechanism cool before turning it on again; he was afraid the holographic projection might overheat and fail without warning if he didn't.

Shaking his wrist lightly to cool it, Megamind began to move to the desk at the far end of the room.

And then he stopped.

The room was empty; the light coming through the big windows behind the mayor's desk gave him more than enough illumination to see that.

And yet—

There was something—some kind of—feeling in the air that gave him the sense that someone had either been in this room recently, or—was still in the room.

He slipped his hand in his pocket for the butterfly knife, pulled it out, and gave a quick, fluid twist of his wrist— _flick flick flick_ —opening the knife, flipping the blade out.

Possibly he was simply being paranoid, but he'd much rather be paranoid with a knife in his hand.

If someone was here, they were beneath the desk; it was the only hiding place. With even, apparently casual steps, Megamind approached the desk.

No sound or movement from beneath the desk. He drew nearer to it, near enough to touch the edge of it.

Nothing—and yet he was more sure than ever that someone was here.

He paused before the desk.

Interesting that they didn't attack. But then, they couldn't see through the desk; they couldn't be certain it was him…

They'd be expecting him to walk around the desk. Megamind's lips curved into a sharp smile. Well, he'd just have to surprise them, then.

In one quick motion, planted his free hand on the desktop and vaulted over the desk entirely to land in a crouch on the other side, knife at the ready—

* * *

It had been unwise, Roxanne knew, to listen to the recording while still in the mayor's office. But she'd needed to make sure that it was the right one, and then it had just been so fascinating that she'd rather lost track of how long she'd been listening to it.

 _Proof on all of you_ , the mayor had said, and he when he said _all_ , he really meant _all_. Recordings of half the city council, Judge Sludd, the chief of police, and a good number of Metro City's leading citizens—Wayne's father among them; Roxanne had never liked that man—they were all on this little recording. The evidence was absolutely damning—bribery, embezzlement, corruption of all kinds.

 _"I'm afraid,"_ the mayor's voice had sounded nervous, _"I'm afraid that the, ah, the charity hospital won't—er—be able to open quite on schedule."_

 _"Really."_

Roxanne had actually jumped. Megamind's voice was instantly recognizable, although she'd never heard him sound quite so—dangerous, before. The way that single word had been spoken was honestly more chilling than any evil monologue he'd ever given.

 _"Well! You—you know! Unexpected costs—difficulty with the plans—problems with the contractors—may have to postpone indefinitely—"_

 _"Exactly how much of the money,"_ Megamind's voice sounded even more dangerous, now, _"have you and the rest of the planning committee stolen?"_

She'd had the volume on the lowest setting, her ear pressed to the speaker, so it had almost been as if Megamind was whispering in her ear as he went on.

 _"Half of it?"_ he asked. _"All of it?"_

 _"N-not—not stolen,"_ the mayor had said feebly. _"Unexpected costs—"_

 _"Don't try to lie to me any more,"_ Megamind had said. _"It's a terrible waste of my time."_

 _"—half. Half of it."_

 _"I see. Well, I do hope you and your friends had fun with it, because you're not going to be having any more fun for quite some time. I will cover the missing money, the charity hospital will go ahead as planned, on schedule, and with no more 'unexpected costs', and you and your friends will all owe me, along with the money, several extremely large favors. I expect—"_

The sound of footsteps in the hallway. Roxanne jerked upright, yanking the flash drive from the computer and quickly switching off the monitor—shit shit shit—

Maybe they were just walking past; maybe whoever it was wouldn't—

The footsteps came to a stop.

In front of the door.

Roxanne had just enough time to fumble with her clutch, hide the flash drive, and duck beneath the desk; as soon as she was hidden, she heard the door open—

—and close again.

Okay. Okay, it might just be security, doing a check; surely they wouldn't search the entire room…

A series of three soft, unidentifiable metallic noises— _snick snick snick_ —and then—

Footsteps approaching the desk.

Oh, she was fucked; she was so fucked—

No! Roxanne's mind raced. Megamind! This could all be Megamind's fault! Poor, helpless Miss Ritchi, who had been captured by Megamind and knocked unconscious and hidden beneath this desk, yes, and then Megamind had disappeared and—

It was at this point that the person on the other side of the desk vaulted over it like a fucking madman and landed in a crouch in front of her, a knife in their hand.

Roxanne gave a stifled exclamation of shock and jerked backwards against the wall of the desk and—

A number of things happened in very quick succession.

 _one_ , she realized that the person crouching in front of her with a knife was _actually goddamn Megamind, what the fuck_

 _two_ , she saw an expression of almost comical bewilderment flash across Megamind's face as he recognized her as well, and

 _three_ , there was another burst of sound from the hall outside the door, voices and laughter, which very promptly resulted in

 _four_ , Roxanne panicking and

 _five_ , Roxanne reaching out, grabbing Megamind, and dragging him beneath the desk with her.

* * *

 _...to be continued._

* * *

 _ **notes:**_

 _ **Happy Day 12 of my Birthday Fic Month! since today is my ACTUAL BIRTHDAY, I posted two things; the established relationship ficlet Always and this update to Lipstick! I hope you enjoyed!**_

 _ **AAAAAHHHH IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! :DD I'M SO EXCITED!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Megamind—was not entirely certain how he had gotten into this position.

The position, specifically, of being underneath a desk and _on top of Roxanne, oh god—_

One instant, he'd been ready to attack whoever was waiting to ambush him from beneath the desk, the next instant— _Roxanne? what was she doing here?_ —and then she had grabbed him and pulled him bodily beneath the desk.

He'd been so caught off guard by the move, and so focused on not accidentally cutting her with the knife in his hand, that he hadn't thought to try to stop her.

Which had probably been fortunate, because, as soon as they were both beneath the desk, the office door had audibly banged open and a pair of clearly intoxicated people had stumbled into the room.

A man and a woman, Megamind thought, with the tiny portion of his mind that wasn't occupied with wordless, panicked mental screaming. And they were clearly a couple.

"Shh! Shhh!" the woman said, giggling. "Be quiet! Somebody'll hear!"

"You 'shh'!" the man said, laughing, too.

"Make me 'shh'!" the woman said, and gave a quiet shriek of laughter that cut off into the unmistakable sound of extremely passionate kissing.

Megamind, perfectly motionless beneath the desk, stared down at the equally motionless Roxanne.

The space beneath the desk wasn't large enough for either of them, let alone both of them; Roxanne lay pushed up on her forearms, her knees bent, and Megamind had wound up actually in her lap, his knees on either side of her hips, bending over Roxanne with his own forearms braced against the side wall of the desk on either side of her head and the knife still in his hand.

 _(fuck fuck fuck fuck she was so close she was too close—)_

One of her hands was clutching his jacket, and the other arm was wrapped around his waist, and the light from the window fell on her face—only inches away from his own—letting him see her frozen, wide-eyed expression quite clearly.

"Mmm," the unseen woman said. "Do you think anybody saw us leave?"

"No," the man said—there were several short smacking kiss noises—"Why?"

"Because if not, we could go ahead and take advantage of the privacy."

There was the clicking sound of high heels crossing the floor a little unsteadily, moving— _oh no_ —moving _towards the desk_ , followed by the heavier sounds of the man's footsteps.

Megamind saw his own horror reflected in Roxanne's face. Her arm around his waist tightened.

The footsteps stopped, still on the far side of the desk, and then the desk shook slightly as she evidently hopped up to sit on it.

"Really?" the man said. "Here?"

"Why not?"

Roxanne's eyes got even wider, and Megamind saw her distinctly mouth the word _'no'._

"Someone could come in," the man said.

 _Someone is already in!_ Megamind thought desperately. _Go away! Go home! Go to a hotel! Go literally anywhere except—_

"Mm, I know," the woman said, "makes it more exciting."

There was the noise of more kissing.

Megamind cursed the couple in his mind. Beneath him, Roxanne shook her head in wild, silent horror.

The sound of kissing grew more passionate.

 _Do something!_ Roxanne mouthed silently at Megamind.

 _Like what?!_ Megamind mouthed back at her.

He glanced pointedly at his hand that held the knife and Roxanne made a face at him and shook her head. Megamind gestured eloquently with his shoulders, indicating that he was out of ideas.

Above them, there was the sound of more kissing, interspersed with giggling.

Roxanne's lips moved rapidly—cursing fluently, Megamind saw, reading her lips. Finally she stopped and just gave him an agonized look, which he returned feelingly.

Both of them jumped as something from the top of the desk—the mayor's name plate, probably—clattered to the floor.

The couple didn't seem to notice.

Roxanne just looked up at him, eyes round—

And then her lips twitched—and twitched again—and—

She shook beneath him with silent laughter, and Megamind, who had finally almost managed to very nearly make himself forget the extreme closeness of their position, found it abruptly and forcefully called to his attention.

Roxanne jerked with laughter beneath him, her body moving against his as she laughed. She closed her eyes and clutched him even tighter and turned her head to the side, neck arching as she laughed soundlessly.

Then she actually _squirmed_ underneath him, hips pressing up into his, and really, surely this was entirely more than a reasonable universe would expect him to bear?

In desperation, Megamind bent forward and pressed his lips directly against her ear.

 _"Stop. Laughing,"_ he said, voice so low it was barely even a whisper.

Roxanne went still, and she did stop laughing—probably more out of surprise, rather than in response to his command, Megamind was sure; she'd never followed his instructions even once in the entire course of their relationship, but—

A quick, sharp pain at the edge of his jaw. Megamind jerked his head back from her in shock—had she just—had she just _bitten_ him?

Roxanne glared up at him, eyes glittering dangerously—

 _—oh god, that was actually worse than the laughing had been; fuck—_

Light suddenly flooded the room; both Roxanne and Megamind jumped. On the desk above them, the woman gave a little shriek, and the man a startled curse.

"—right, okay," said a new voice, the tone clearly indicating that it had seen things like this too many times before. "I'm gonna have to ask you folks to clear out of here; this is a restricted area."

The woman went into a fit of giggles and the man laughed, too.

"Right; right; sorry; yeah—we'll just—"

"This way," the new voice said.

"—sorry; yes—"

"—didn't know—"

"—looking for the bathroom—" the man said unconvincingly.

"Uh huh," said the third voice, unimpressed.

The light snapped off again, and there was the sound of the door shutting, and then silence.

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **notes:**

 **Happy Day 15 of my Birthday Fic Month! And happy day 4 of the Megamind tumblr Valentine's week event! The prompt used was 'awkward situations'.**

 **Thank you all for continuing to read and review; I hope you enjoyed the update!**


	5. Chapter 5

For a solid minute and a half, neither of them moved—Roxanne because she wanted to be sure that the other people had really gone, and Megamind, presumably, for the same reason.

Roxanne was terribly conscious of how close he was, of the rise and fall of his chest, of his breathing. She had one arm around his waist, and the other was twisted in the lapel of the jacket he was wearing; she could feel his body shift beneath her hands as he breathed, and for some reason the sensation of that was very nearly overwhelming.

The two of them were pressed very close, but Megamind was supporting almost all of his own weight on his knees and his forearms, braced against the side of the desk.

He stared down at her, his eyes wide—probably still shocked that she'd bitten him. Roxanne was a little shocked herself actually; it hadn't been a conscious choice, but when he'd pressed his lips against her ear and then whispered, the—the—the _shock_ of it; yes, the _shock_ of the sensation—

(his lips on her skin, his voice in her ear)

—had sent something hot and sudden through her whole body, like lightning, and she'd just—reacted without thinking.

…she was really zero for three on the impulse control tonight—the bite, the staying too long in this office, the pulling Megamind under the desk with her—

Her stupid mind had still been in panicHIDE mode, and for some reason it had decided Megamind belonged in the category of 'things to hide' rather than 'things to hide from', and then once he was under the desk with her, she couldn't very well let him come out again in front of people; there would have been inconvenient questions like 'what were you doing under a desk with Megamind, Roxanne?' and—

Beneath the desk, Roxanne managed to collect the shreds of her dignity enough to unwind her hand from Megamind's lapel to give him a light push with her fingertips—surely, surely they'd waited long enough—

Megamind pushed himself up and off of her and out from under the desk with a fluid grace that instantly made her feel twice as heavy and awkward. She clambered up after him.

"You—you bit me!" he hissed in a low voice, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"You deserved it!"

"Wh—I did not! You—"

"Not up to even your _usual_ standards tonight, I see," Roxanne said, changing tactics. "Trying to kidnap me with a _knife_ , Megamind, really?"

Megamind's eyes flickered to the knife in his hand, as if he'd forgotten he was holding it, then he drew himself up and tried to look down his nose at her—tried without success, she noted with satisfaction. She was two inches taller than him in these heels.

Then he smiled at her, sharp and sudden and wicked, which was—

—rather more successful, Roxanne was forced to admit.

"So eager to be kidnapped, Miss Ritchi?" he said. "I'm flattered! But I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint—I'm not actually here for you. I had no idea you were even up here."

Roxanne felt herself flush, anger and embarrassment together.

"Oh," she said, "so you just _happened_ to jump over that desk and pull a knife on me?"

"Well, I could tell someone was under the desk," Megamind said, looking maddeningly pleased at having disconcerted her so thoroughly. "I assumed it was a trap."

"So you decided to attack them with a _knife_?" Roxanne said, arching an eyebrow. "Are the ray guns all zapped out or something?"

"Well, I couldn't very well have the de-gun on me when they searched me," Megamind said. "They never would have let me in."

"But they let you in with that?" Roxanne asked skeptically, gesturing at the knife.

Megamind grinned at her.

"Butterfly knife—" he said.

With a quick, fluid motion of his hand, the handle of the knife separated into two pieces on either side of the blade, furling and unfurling like a fan as he made the knife twirl over and through his fingers. The thing closed with a snap, the blade folded down, hidden between the two halves of the handle.

"—not actually illegal," he concluded, and slipped it into his pocket.

(that ridiculous, shivery, electric feeling, not just down her spine this time, but curling in the pit of her stomach, too, and—)

"Wait, what do you mean, _let you in_?" Roxanne said, as his earlier words finally registered.

An expression of consternation crossed Megamind's face—clearly, he hadn't meant to tell her that. She looked him up and down—he was in a formal suit, with a tie and everything, dressed like—

"Did you get in here as a _guest_ somehow?"

"That's—that's none of your business!" Megamind said. "And! And what are you doing up here, Miss Ritchi; that's what I'd like to know!"

 _"That's none of your business,"_ Roxanne repeated his words mockingly.

He glared at her, and Roxanne laughed at him.

"I got bored of the party," she said.

Megamind's eyes narrowed.

"—I don't believe you. Why would you hide under the desk?"

"I didn't want to talk to anyone," Roxanne said, letting her voice take on an edge of malice. "It's been a rather trying week."

Color flew to Megamind's cheeks— _oh_ , Roxanne thought with vicious satisfaction, _so he hadn't just completely forgotten about that tabloid article!_

The first time seeing her after its publication, and he hadn't even mentioned the damn thing, like it was unworthy of his notice—

(like _she_ was unworthy of his notice)

"Miss—"

"How did you get in?" Roxanne asked. She narrowed her eyes. "It had to be a disguise; if you'd been using hypnosis or something, you wouldn't have needed to leave the gun or wear those clothes—a hologram? Where's the projector; are you wearing it?"

Megamind took a sharp, hissing kind of breath, like he'd touched a flame unexpectedly.

"You made a wearable, full-body holographic projection," Roxanne said, "and you didn't bother to include _clothes_ , or the ability to _conceal a weapon_?"

"It's just a prototype!" Megamind snapped.

Roxanne smiled in satisfaction.

"So it is a hologram," she said.

Megamind growled beneath his breath.

"You must have needed to come here for something pretty important," Roxanne went on, "if you decided to use the hologram before you'd finished it."

Megamind didn't answer, just glared at her. Roxanne grinned and perched on the edge of the desk.

"So what is it?" she said. "Why are you here?"

Megamind's expression suddenly cleared, and then a slow, dangerous smile spread over his face.

"I'm here to _steal_ something," he said. He pulled the desk drawer open sharply. "Care to be an accessory to the crime, Miss Ritchi?"

Roxanne opened her eyes very wide and gave him her best innocent damsel expression.

"Oh, officer, he had a knife! There was nothing I could do!"

Megamind gave her a look that was half frustrated annoyance and half unwilling amusement.

"And yet you'll never do that for me," he said.

Roxanne snorted.

(steal something—the desk drawer—did he know about the file? was that what he—)

"I'm not scared of you," Roxanne said. "And you'd never fall for it. What would be the point?"

Megamind, looking through the contents of the desk drawer, threw her a sharp, irritated glance.

"Well, for one thing," he snapped, "people would be less likely to write tabloid articles speculating about the _nature of our relationship._ If you'd just—"

"—oh, no; no; no!" Roxanne said. "You do not get to blame this on me! You're the one doing the kidnapping! That is entirely—"

"—if you'd just act like a real damsel—"

"Oh, as if you act like a real supervillain!" Roxanne said, stung in spite of herself.

"I _am_ a real supervillain!" Megamind said. He shoved the desk drawer closed. "Alligators, deathtraps, giant robots; I don't know what else you want from me, Miss Ritchi!"

(the electric feeling running down her spine, the heat blooming in the pit of her stomach)

 _(—she wanted—)_

"—nothing," Roxanne snapped. "I don't want anything from you."

Megamind went still for half a moment, then his lips curled into a cold smile.

"Of course," he said.

He turned away and moved towards one of the pictures on the wall, ran his fingertips along the edge of the frame.

Roxanne glared at his back and told herself that she was not upset, damn it. She wasn't.

Not a real damsel.

 _(maybe if she'd been a real damsel, he might have—)_

She wasn't upset.

"Well, you won't have any more problems with people insinuating things about you and me, anyway!" she said, throwing the words at him. "After that interview with Wayne, you clearly know you don't have any reason to kidnap me ever again!"

Megamind went still again, and for a moment, she thought he might turn and say something—something—

"—of course" he said in a stiff voice, without turning. "I'm sure you're terribly relieved."

Roxanne furiously repressed the urge to throw her shoe at the back of his giant blue head. How dare he not even look at her; how dare he just—dismiss her like that, like she no longer mattered at all—

"Yes!" she said defiantly. "And I'm sure you're relieved to know that you can find yourself some vapid little damsel to scream for you instead!"

"You'll be able to return to your boring normal life," Megamind said flatly, and moved to the other picture frame, still without turning. "How wonderful for you."

"I am not boring!"

Megamind neither turned nor answered.

Anger and humiliation warred in Roxanne's chest; she gripped her beaded handbag tightly.

 _Boring._

She wasn't—

That damned tabloid article about her and Megamind had come out at the beginning of the week, that photograph on the front of the magazine: Roxanne and Megamind, their faces, close together—Megamind leaning over to her, smiling wickedly, Roxanne with her head tilted up, looking at him, her lips half-curved in an amused smile and parted to say something. Only—the photographer had caught them both in mid-blink or something, because both of their gazes appeared to be focused on each other's mouths.

 _Roxanne Ritchi's Supervillain Scandal!_ had been the title of the thing, complete with the three superfluous exclamation points.

She'd gotten a panicked phone call from her mother _(no, mother, of course I'm not having an affair with Megamind; yes, mother; I'm sure; that's not a thing that I wouldn't be sure about)_ ; there'd been calls to the station, asking if it was true, asking if she'd give an interview. And she'd seen people, at work, and out in public; she'd seen them staring at her and whispering behind her back or just out of earshot.

It had been—upsetting.

Upsetting in a way that was— _different_ , somehow, from the way people assuming she was with Metro Man had been irritating.

 _(probably because of how you—)_

It had just been upsetting.

When Wayne had given an interview of his own to a different, rather more respectable magazine, explaining that he and Roxanne had never been in a relationship, she'd been glad, at first, that at least one public misconception about her love life had been cleared up. And she'd hoped it might distract people from the whole Megamind debacle.

It had hurt when she realized a good many people were assuming that Wayne was just getting rid of her because she had been cheating on him. And it had hurt more when she realized that other people—

It had been at work, when she figured out just what people were thinking about her. Roxanne had been on he way to the copy room; she'd passed a cubicle, and had heard several of her co-workers inside—talking.

About her.

They hadn't known she was there; they'd been facing away from her, looking at a computer screen, with the picture from the tabloid article on it.

"—ridiculous, of course it's not true," one of them had said. "Don't tell me that Roxanne Ritchi, miss vanilla-as-they-come, miss _'I bought the same dress in three different colors'—"_

The woman clicked the mouse and a series of images flashed across the computer screen: Roxanne in that cute purple dress, the one with the ruffled neckline—and then in her black version of the dress—and then in her blue version of the dress—

Roxanne had stood frozen in the hallway as the whole group of them laughed.

"—don't tell me you really think that _she_ ," the woman said scornfully, "is having some kind of steamy affair with _him."_

Another click of the mouse, another image on the computer screen—Megamind, leaning up against the lair console and smirking, all eyeliner and black leather and sex.

"—I mean, come on! Can you imagine? He'd be wanting to bring out the ropes and handcuffs, and she'd just be complaining the entire time! Nag, nag, nag; can you imagine anyone less fun?"

Another chorus of laughter.

"I'd much rather imagine him," someone else said, and several people agreed and started talking at once, and Roxanne hadn't waited to hear the end of the conversation, but had gone to sit by herself in the copy room in the dark and try not to cry.

Was she—was she actually like that? Did people really—

 _(nag, nag, nag; can you imagine anyone less fun?)_

—did Megamind think that about her, too?

 _(if you'd just act like a real damsel)_

Sitting on the desk, now, watching Megamind search behind the picture frame for a hidden catch, Roxanne again found herself furiously repressing tears.

 _(go back to your boring, normal life)_

—she did buy the same dress in different colors, a lot of times, yes, and the same shirt in different colors a lot of times, and the same jeans in slightly different washes, but surely that wasn't that bad, was it? She was just—hard to fit, and particular about clothing textures and comfort and—

Besides! Megamind wore _exactly one outfit;_ how was that any less boring?

—all right, so his was _skintight leather, yes, okay,_ but still—

And he apparently wore a suit extremely well, Roxanne admitted bitterly, glaring at his back. Why wouldn't he turn and look at her? Why did he have to keep acting like she wasn't there?

Finally, he did turn to face her, a bland, calm expression on his face, and Roxanne wanted to break something. His eyes shifted from her to the desk (like she was nothing, like she wasn't even there) and he tilted his head thoughtfully. He walked towards her—

—towards the _desk_. Not towards _her_. She just happened to be on the desk; he wasn't walking towards _her_. He didn't even really look at her, just knelt down and began to examine the paneling on the underside of the desk.

"Didn't you spend enough time down there already?" Roxanne asked, breaking the silence, the words abrupt and ungraceful and ugly, and god, it was no wonder people laughed at the idea of Megamind finding her attractive.

"—yes, well," Megamind said, still beneath the desk. "I was a little—distracted—at the time."

For one wild, heart-flipping moment, Roxanne thought he meant he'd been distracted by _her_ , but—

"There was—rather a lot happening," Megamind continued.

—ah. Of course. The _people_ ; he was talking about the _people_.

 _Oh, get a grip, Roxanne; of course he was talking about the two people making out on top of the damn desk. Of course he didn't mean you. As if he would ever._

Roxanne scowled out the window at the city lights as Megamind tapped at the underside of the desk, searching for hidden drawers.

 _(Roxanne Ritchi, miss vanilla-as-they-come)_

Vanilla. Well, what was wrong with being vanilla? What was the big deal about sex, anyway, that was what Roxanne wanted to know. The (okay, admittedly not that many) times she'd had it were—nice enough, she supposed, but hardly anything amazing.

 _(maybe there is something wrong with you. maybe you're just—)_

—cold. frigid.

 _boring._

Roxanne gritted her teeth.

 _(miss vanilla-as-they-come; he'd be wanting to bring out the ropes and handcuffs, and she'd just be complaining the entire—)_

She wasn't—just because she'd never—it wasn't like she was opposed to the idea of ropes and handcuffs! With the right person! Someone she—

 _(I'm not scared of you)_

—trusted; someone she really—

 _(don't know what else you want from me, miss ritchi)_

—wanted; someone—

It wasn't—it wasn't like she actually wanted to have an affair with Megamind! Not—obviously, obviously she didn't! Obviously she didn't actually want Megamind to tie her up and have his wicked way with her—

 _(bent over the console in the lair; tangled up with him in his bed; lying back on this desk; didn't want him to kiss her, didn't want him to touch her, didn't want him to shove her skirt up and screw her until she screamed)_

—because—

 _(didn't want him to smile at her, didn't want him to talk to her, didn't want him to care about her, didn't want him to love—)_

—because that would be ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Obviously she didn't want to have an affair with him. Obviously.

It just.

It just would have been nice to think that she could have.

If she'd wanted to.

Which she didn't.

Obviously.

Megamind stood up from beneath the desk and glanced over at Roxanne, who was glaring out the window with an expression of extreme displeasure.

He glanced over his shoulder, saw nothing but the city lights.

"What?" he said.

"What!" Roxanne jumped, looking over at him with wide eyes, as if she'd forgotten he was there. "I—what?"

"What were you looking at?" Megamind asked.

He glanced over his shoulder again, but again saw nothing but the window and the city lights.

"What?" Roxanne said. "Oh—that's—nothing. I wasn't—I wasn't looking at anything. I was thinking of something else—do you think this dress is nice at all?" she asked, absolutely out of nowhere.

There was a very long pause in which Megamind unsuccessfully attempted to think why in the _everlovingfuck_ she would ever, ever ask him what he thought of her _dress_.

"What?" he said, finally, cautiously.

"—nothing," Roxanne said, scowling again. "Never mind."

She glared at the window again, lips pressed together tightly, her mind clearly reverting back to her original thought, as if he'd never even spoken, as if he wasn't even there.

Megamind's lips twisted as he turned away from her to examine the computer itself.

He couldn't hold her attention even when he was right in front of her.

What was she thinking about so furiously? Was she angry about something? About the tabloid—no; she'd just pointed out that he wouldn't have any excuse to kidnap her any longer; surely the prospect of finally being rid of him balanced out any annoyance at that ridiculous rumor.

She'd said she was annoyed about it, of course, had said that was why she was up here, but he'd been pretty sure she was lying when she—

—said that. He was pretty sure she'd been lying when she'd said that; he never had gotten a satisfactory answer as to why she was here, and now she was glaring out the window, deep in thought about something else and—

 _No wonder he couldn't find the file._

Megamind turned slowly towards Roxanne.

"You," he said. "You already have it."

Roxanne jumped again.

"What?" she said.

"You have it," Megamind said, growing steadily more certain—that would explain why she seemed so on edge tonight.

"Have—?" she asked blankly, for all the world as if she didn't know what he was talking about, but there was no way he was falling for that.

"The _surveillance file,"_ he said, stalking slowly around the desk towards her. He watched her face as he approached, and saw color rise to it, and knew he was right. "That's what you were doing here."

"I—" she slid off the desk with an artificial little laugh. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's why I can't find it," he said softly.

He took another step towards her, and she actually stumbled back, coming up against the desk. Her hands went back to catch herself.

"You already have it," he said.

She swallowed visibly, and her eyes flicked down and to the side, breaking his gaze.

Megamind followed the direction of her eyes— _ah, yes, of course—_

Her eyes flicked up to his again, and widened, and she made a little movement with her left hand, as if she wanted to hide the handbag she was holding.

Megamind smiled, right hand darting out to grab her wrist.

The swiftness of the motion must have caught her off guard, because she let him do it, didn't even try to pull away as he lifted her hand up and plucked the handbag from it with his free hand.

She took a sharp breath, and her wrist jerked in his grip. Megamind let go of it and took half a step back, opening the handbag, looking through it.

—car keys, hairpins, painkillers, lipsticks—

He frowned, disconcerted, and glanced up at Roxanne.

She was holding her left hand, the one he'd grabbed, close to her chest, fingers of her right hand wrapped around her left wrist. Megamind felt a flash of surprised concern— _he hadn't hurt her, had he? Surely he hadn't hurt her; he'd been very careful—_

"What?" Roxanne said.

She glanced down at her own hands and let go of her wrist quickly, as if he'd caught her doing something she didn't want him to see—

"What?" she said, again, but in a different tone, and when he looked up into her face once more, she lifted her chin and raised her eyebrows challengingly.

Her lips curved in that perfectly maddening smile of hers, sending heat down his spine.

"Can't you find what you're looking for, Megamind?"

Megamind growled under his breath in frustration. He tossed the purse down onto the desk without looking.

"You do have it," he said. "I know you do."

He walked deliberately towards her, but this time, although color still rose in her cheeks, she didn't try to move away from him.

"You have it," he said again. "The only question is—"

 _(do you think this dress is nice)_

(gloating; she'd been _gloating_ ; she'd been _playing with him_ ; there was no other reason for her to ask him what he thought of her dress.)

"—where did you put it?"

* * *

 _...to be continued._

* * *

 **notes: Knife laws vary from state to state. Fanon has Metro City in Michigan, where, during the time that this story is set (pre-2010), certain knives like switchblades were illegal, but butterfly knives were not.**

 **Day 18 of my Birthday Fic Month! And day 7 of the Megamind tumblr Valentine's Week event! The prompt used was 'we're NOT dating'.**

 **I hope you all liked the update!**


	6. Chapter 6

"—where did you put it?" Megamind said, looking at Roxanne with an intensity of focus that stole her breath.

She couldn't answer, couldn't say anything. Megamind held her gaze for another moment, and then slowly, deliberately, he let his eyes rake down her body. Heat followed, sweeping through her in the wake of his gaze like fire through dry kindling.

"—maybe you'd better search me," she said, without planning to.

Megamind went quite still.

(what are you doing? Roxanne screamed at herself internally, an edge of panic to the thought. what are you doing; why would you say—)

"I mean," Roxanne found herself saying, "if you're so certain that I have it. Maybe you'd better search me."

Megamind's breath hissed through his teeth.

"You think I won't do it," he said, a thread of anger in his voice.

Did she think that? Roxanne wasn't sure what she thought; she wasn't really thinking at all at that moment. The idea of her thinking he wouldn't do it seemed to get under his skin, though, and she wanted—wanted—

Heart racing, she leaned back against the desk and, amazed at her own daring, let her lips curve into a smirk.

"Don't test me, Miss Ritchi," Megamind said.

Roxanne let her smile widen.

Megamind made an inhuman kind of growling sound, low in his chest, meant to scare her, she thought, but the frisson of feeling that went through her definitely wasn't fear.

(he was looking at her now; he was paying attention to her now, no longer ignoring her; she had his full and undivided attention now.)

She held his gaze.

Megamind took a step forward, and then another, eyes on hers. Roxanne didn't move.

He stopped quite close to her, but not quite touching, the hem of her dress just brushing the toes of his boots.

"Give it to me now," he said in a low voice, eyes fixed on hers, "and I won't."

"Oh—" Roxanne said, breathless. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat, in her wrists, "—but I think you won't anyway."

Megamind made that inhuman growling sound again and dropped to his knees without warning.

Roxanne took a sharp breath, and he paused, looking up at her, angry tension in his face, in the line of his shoulders. When she didn't speak, he made a soft sound of suppressed fury and slipped his right hand beneath the material of her skirt.

His hand touched her shoe, then slid up her foot—a shock went through her at the sensation of that; he wasn't wearing gloves; he'd never touched her before when he wasn't wearing gloves, never actually touched her—

His fingers curled around her ankle, found the edge of her shoe's strap. He kept looking up at her, his eyes locked with hers, as he unfastened the buckle of the shoe.

He slipped his other hand up her foot, took hold of her shoe by its arch. Roxanne leaned her weight back onto the desk and lifted her foot for him.

(the look he gave her as she helped him pull off her shoe seemed more frustrated than if she'd refused to let him.)

She put her bare foot down on the floor, tile cold beneath her sole.

Megamind glared at her and pulled her shoe from beneath her dress, turning it over in his hands, examining it. Then he set it aside and slid his hands over her other foot, unbuckled that shoe. He glanced up at her, still as if he expected her to object. Roxanne lifted her foot for him instead, and he pulled off the shoe.

He examined it, of course found nothing, and put it down with the other one. Then he looked up at Roxanne again.

She arched her eyebrows challengingly.

He gritted his teeth visibly and slipped his hands beneath her skirt again, slid them up her right calf.

—his hands, god; his hands had no right to feel so good against her skin—

He stopped, his hands just short of her knee, paused there a moment—then slid his hands back down. Roxanne bit back a noise of frustration.

His hands felt just as good when he slid them up her other leg, and again he paused just short of touching her knee. The pause was longer this time, long enough that Roxanne thought maybe he would slide his hands up—

He slid his hands back down her leg.

His mouth was set as he looked up at her for a long moment, the tension and the silence pulled taut between the two of them.

Slowly, he rose to his feet.

Without the extra height of the heels, Roxanne found herself looking up at him, which was—unexpectedly exciting.

He looked down at her, eyebrows drawn together in a forbidding glare, shadows beneath his sharp cheekbones, his mouth a hard line.

She tilted her head back, lifted her chin in challenge.

Megamind reached out and took hold of her left wrist.

He looked absolutely furious, but he lifted her hand quite gently, and Roxanne felt her breathing pick up at the contradiction.

Still holding her wrist, Megamind reached for the top of her glove with his other hand, the move slow and deliberate, letting her see what he was doing. His fingers slipped just barely beneath the fabric, touching her skin lightly, so lightly.

—and then he stopped.

Roxanne's breath caught.

An expression flickered in his face—not just anger, but—

He couldn't do it. Roxanne read it in his expression.

He couldn't make himself pull it off of her, no matter how much he wanted to. The realization tugged at her heart strangely, and she found herself reaching up for the top of the glove herself.

As soon as her hand moved, Megamind let her go, his hands pulling sharply back from her, and she read in the shift of his weight that he thought she meant to push him away, saw that he was planning on stepping back when she did.

She didn't push him, though, just slipped her own fingertips beneath the edge of the glove.

Megamind took a sharp breath.

Roxanne held his eyes with her own as she slid the glove down her arm.

Confusion warred with anger in Megamind's expression. Roxanne slid her other glove off; held both gloves out to him.

There was a beat of tense and silent stillness in which he was completely motionless, and then he took the gloves from her. Without taking his eyes off hers, he ran the gloves through his fingers, testing the fabric.

Then he tossed the gloves down onto the desk.

Another beat of silent stillness, and then frustration flashed in his expression and his eyes flicked away from hers, his gaze flickering down over her dress, and then back up again.

His eyes met hers again. She arched an eyebrow.

Megamind's lips twisted into a snarl and he took a step forward, into her space, pressing her back into the desk.

"You," he growled. His hands slid up her arms to her shoulders. He ran his fingers swiftly down the material of her dress straps. "It's always like this with you; everything is always so much more difficult than it has to be—"

Roxanne gasped as his hands slid down the sides of her body to her hips.

"Tell me," he said, running his right hand up the outside of her left thigh, "are you fundamentally incapable of cooperating with anyone?" he ran his left hand up the outside of her right thigh. "Or is it just me?"

He palmed the small of her back and Roxanne could barely stop herself from arching into him.

"You," she said, "definitely. Definitely just you—"

His left hand curled over her hip and he slid his hand up between her shoulder blades, the move bringing their bodies close.

"You drive me insane," he said, his mouth next to her ear. Roxanne felt his fingertips run down the line of her zipper. "You do know that, don't you?"

"Do I?" Roxanne said, scarcely aware of what she was saying. "Maybe you should do something about that."

 _"Don't tempt me."_

He shifted back just enough to glare down into her face, one hand on the small of her back, the other on her hip. Roxanne smiled mockingly up at him from inches away.

"Oh, am I meant to be scared?" she said. "Big, bad supervillain! Built any charity hospitals lately, Megamind? You couldn't even take off my gloves."

His breath hissed between his teeth, his hands jerking against her in shock. Roxanne laughed and he growled in frustration.

"You absolute harpy—"

"Domesticated villain," Roxanne said.

"Sharp-tongued, provoking—"

"Your virtue is showing," Roxanne said.

His gaze flickered, his eyes dropping to her mouth and for a white-hot instant, she was sure he was going to—

He looked up.

"Your lipstick is smudged," he said.

Humiliation went through Roxanne like a lightning bolt down her spine, burning rage following in its wake.

Her lipstick was smudged? Her _lipstick_ was _smudged_?

"Is it? _Is it?_ " she hissed. She swiped her hand over her mouth then reached up and wiped the lipstick off onto the pristine white collar of his shirt. " _There_. How's that? Is that better?"

Megamind looked at her in outraged shock, and Roxanne glared up at him in fury. And then—

The light flicked on.

"Okay, folks; come on; I already told you once, this is a restricted—"

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **Day 19 of my Birthday Fic Month! Thank you all for continuing to read and review; I hope you all enjoyed the update!**

 **( }: D~**

 **MWAHAHAHAHA!** **(/evil laughter)**


	7. Chapter 7

The security guard's words cut off with a noise that sounded very like _'ulp'_.

For about six seconds, the three of them stood there in a tableau, nobody moving.

Six seconds; not a long amount of time, but long enough for Roxanne's mind to fully realize what this must look like—her pressed back against the desk with Megamind bending over her and her lipstick on his collar—long enough for her to calculate the likelihood of anyone believing this wasn't what it looked like and come up with exactly zero.

"I'll tell you what," Roxanne said, breaking the silence.

The security guard jumped. Megamind's body jerked slightly against hers.

"You leave right now," she said to the guard, "and never mention this to anyone—"

The guard opened his mouth to protest.

"—and I won't let Megamind chop you up into tiny pieces and feed you to the alligators." Roxanne said. "Doesn't that sound like a really fantastic deal?"

Megamind's hands twitched against her, but Roxanne didn't look at him, kept looking at the security guard.

"Or perhaps not tiny pieces," she went on in a thoughtful tone, "live prey is so much more fun for them. Enrichment, you know—it's terribly important to make sure animals in captivity don't become bored."

The guard swallowed visibly.

"You're thinking that Metro Man is downstairs," Roxanne said, mind working swiftly, "you're thinking that he'll hear you if you call—and maybe he would, although the music is a bit loud, and there are quite a lot of people talking. Maybe you'd better try running for him, instead—oh, but you've seen how fast Megamind moves, haven't you? And even if you do manage to get away somehow, and find Metro Man, and Megamind goes to prison—well, what do you think Megamind will do to you once he escapes again? Alligators will be the least of your worries."

She gave the guard a pleasant smile and the man gulped, the blood draining from his face.

"Unless, of course, you were just leaving now," she said sweetly. "Having done a security check of this very empty room. And seen nothing. Which you would obviously never mention to anyone."

"Yep!" the security guard said in a strangled tone. He nodded vigorously, backing out of the room. "Yep; yes, ma'am, didn't see anything! Didn't see anything! Nothing to see! I'll just be going! Nobody in here! Have a nice night!"

He closed the door behind himself and Roxanne and Megamind heard the sound of him fairly fleeing down the hall.

Roxanne turned her head slowly to look at Megamind.

The guard had left the light on in his haste to leave; she could see Megamind's expression with perfect clarity, though she couldn't quite read it.

He looked—

"Did you just _threaten someone with me?"_ he asked, voice low.

Roxanne's breath caught. She looked up at him, unable to answer, and—

She wasn't sure which one of them moved first; it happened so fast; one moment they were looking at each other and the next moment they were kissing madly.

Roxanne, hands twisted in Megamind's suit jacket, arched into the kiss desperately, and Megamind pulled her closer—god, his mouth—

She felt almost feverish with the desire to be closer to him, to be as close as possible—closer than was possible with so many layers of clothing between them. Fumbling, she found the button of his jacket and managed to undo it, to slip her hands beneath the sides of it, only the material of his shirt between her hands and his skin.

Roxanne pushed the jacket off his shoulders and Megamind broke the kiss only long enough to pull the jacket off completely. He dropped it on the floor and kissed her again, one of his hands tangling in her hair, the other sliding up the side of her body.

It wasn't enough; it still wasn't enough. Roxanne yanked his shirt up, untucking it, and slid her hands beneath it. Megamind gasped into the kiss as her hands touched his skin. He felt almost like silk beneath her hands, his skin smooth and slightly cool to the touch.

The backs of her thighs pressed against the edge of the desk; Megamind lifted her to sit on it, the two of them still kissing.

It still wasn't enough; there were far too many layers between them, the material of her dress, all the maddening layers of his suit. She reached up and pulled at his tie, tugging it loose, then fumbled for the buttons of his shirt.

Roxanne got three buttons undone before she lost patience and yanked at the sides of the shirt, popping the rest of the buttons. Megamind gasped, breaking the kiss, and then kissed his way down her neck as she ran her hands over his chest. He kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder and then pulled both of her dress straps down to kiss her shoulders, reaching up at the same time for the zip of her dress.

"—yes," Roxanne said, when he hesitated for a moment, "yes, yes, yes; come on—"

Megamind pulled the tab down and Roxanne yanked at the bodice, pulling it down enough for him to cup one of her breasts in his hand as he kissed her again. Roxanne arched into the touch, reached up and wound one arm around his neck, the gorgeous, smooth curve of the back of his head fitting perfectly in her hand. He made an inhuman noise, a moan with alien harmonics to it, and the sound of it made Roxanne feel even more desperate. She turned her head and kissed the side of his beautiful neck, scraped her teeth over the tendons there.

Megamind made a hissing sound and slid his free arm around her waist, pulling her to the edge of the desk. He let go of her breast and reached for the hem of her skirt, pushing it up, running his hand up her thigh, from her knee all the way to her hip, his fingertips slipping beneath the lace edge of her underwear.

She reached for his belt, undid the buckle blindly, reached for the fastenings of his trousers.

"—wait," Megamind gasped. "I'm not—human—my anatomy is—you might not want—"

"I don't care," Roxanne said feverishly. "I don't care; I don't care what it looks like; I just want you to fuck me with it—"

Megamind made a noise that was half a moan and half an incredulous laugh and kissed the skin beneath her jaw. Roxanne made a demanding noise and bit lightly at the edge of his ear. Megamind's breath hissed between his teeth, his fingers digging into her thigh.

She reached for him again, and he let her unfasten his trousers this time, let her part the material. He caught her wrist lightly, then slid his hand along the back of hers, his fingers slipping into the spaces between hers. Holding her hand like that, he guided it forward to touch him, pressing her hand between his legs.

She felt nothing like the shape of a cock, but a kind of vertical seam, slick with desire like she was—oh—

"Put your fingers inside me, then," she said, "god, Megamind, please; I need you so bad—"

Megamind made the laughter and moaning sound again, this time with a kind of alien growl beneath it.

"Impatient—" he said, "always—so impatient. Just—just let me—"

She twisted her hand, grinding her palm slickly against him, and Megamind's hips jerked, his words cutting off into a moan, and Roxanne felt a bolt of triumph and desire go through her at his reaction to her touch.

"Roxanne—" he gasped, " _ah_ —let me— _fuck_ , let me show you—"

He took his hand from her hip and shifted his weight back—not pulling away from her, but moving back enough that she could look down the line of his body, from the long column of his throat, down his chest and abdomen, bared by the unbuttoned sides of his shirt, to their joined hands pressed between his legs.

Megamind guided her hand up the slick seam of him, shuddering into the touch, and then he pulled her hand away so that only her fingertips brushed the top of the seam. Then—

His body shifted, beneath her fingertips and in front of her eyes, the sides of the vertical slit between his legs parting, blue tentacles spilling out and into her hand.

Megamind let go of her hand as his tentacles moved against each other and against her hand. They rubbed against her palm and slid between her fingers, curled around her wrist, smooth and slick against her skin.

Roxanne took a soft, surprised breath, her fingers tightening automatically in the tangle of tentacles, and Megamind made a quiet, desperate noise, his hips jerking once and then going still. She glanced up at his face; he _looked_ desperate, too, his eyes dark, his mouth flushed and panting.

"Still okay?" he asked, voice tight. "Do you want to stop?" and Roxanne saw the tension in his expression, beneath the desperation, understood why he'd leaned away from her, why he'd let go of her hand, why he was being so careful not to hold her in place.

He was actually genuinely concerned she might not want this anymore, wasn't he? And he was making sure she didn't feel trapped.

Desire sang through her at that realization, desire and something else, a feeling she didn't want to put a name to, something sweet and fierce at the same time.

She tightened her fingers around him, pressed her palm harder against him. Megamind made a shocked, inhuman sound, something like birdsong, his hips jerking forward, tentacles writhing in her hand. Roxanne, pulled her hand back a bit, letting his tentacles slide through her fingers, then pushed her hand deeper into them again, and Megamind moaned and clutched at the edge of the desk, rocking his hips into her touch.

"These—" Roxanne said, and slid her fingers through his tentacles, "—these are gorgeous."

She tugged lightly at the tips of them and Megamind gasped.

"And I want you to fuck me with them," she slid her hand deeper into the tangle of them again. "Right. Now."

Megamind growled and kissed her hard; Roxanne moved her hand from his tentacles to the desktop and pushed up into the kiss. He broke it to press kisses down her throat, reached up to palm her breast again, rolling her nipple beneath his thumb, making Roxanne gasp. She leaned back on her forearms as he dipped his head and laved his tongue over the peak of her breast. He kissed her there, then sucked at her nipple, and Roxanne couldn't help arching up, couldn't help the breathless little sounds she heard herself making.

When he moved to her other breast, she moaned, torn between the torturous pleasure of his mouth and the ache of not having him between her legs.

"Megamind," she moaned, throwing her head back.

The sound of her own voice, moaning his name like that, made her feel like her body was on fire; god, she'd never heard herself sound like that; she sounded utterly shameless.

Megamind leaned back and pulled her hips to the very edge of the desk, tugged her lace underwear down. Roxanne kicked them off impatiently. Megamind ran his hand up the side of her thigh and she wrapped her legs around him, her heels digging into the backs of his thighs.

He planted his hands on the desk on either side of her head, and she felt his tentacles, moving cool and slick against her sex and the inside of her thighs. He growled and rolled his hips, sinking one of his tentacles into her.

Roxanne's spine arched at the sensation of it—oh god that was so good, the supple way it twisted and pressed against the inside of her—that was only one of his tentacles and it was already better than anything anyone else had ever done for her, better than anything Roxanne had ever been able to do for herself.

She looked up at Megamind, who was looking down at her, an unfamiliar look of pleasure on his so-familiar face— _Megamind, this was Megamind here with her, Megamind inside of her, Megamind finally, finally, finally—_

One of his tentacles rubbed against her clit at an angle that was so perfectly, exactly right that Roxanne couldn't help but roll her hips into.

"Yes, yes, yes," she panted out.

Megamind gasped, too, rubbing against her clit in that same motion, pressing another tentacle into her at the same time.

"Roxanne," he said, " _ah_ —fuck— _Roxanne_ —"

"Megamind—oh god, that feels so good—please—yes—"

He pushed a third tentacle inside her and Roxanne threw her head back, her hips moving again of their own accord, gasping and twisting desperately on the three tentacles writhing inside her, against the two still rubbing either side of her clit.

Megamind leaned down and kissed her throat, the shift of his weight pressing his tentacles deeper into her. She reached up with one hand and stroked over the back of his head, down his neck, hand slipping beneath the collar of his open shirt. He groaned in response and Roxanne felt a fourth tentacle join the three already inside her.

She tightened her hold on the back of his neck, fingernails digging into his skin.

"—yes! Megamind— _ah_ —"

He pressed his face to the side of her neck and panted, his body still except for the ceaseless motion of his tentacles. Roxanne made a noise of frustration and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Come on," she said, voice rising on a note of urgency, "come on, Megamind; move—fuck me; I need you to fuck me—"

Megamind's breath hissed between his teeth, the sound half pleasure and half laughter.

"You need—to _be quiet_ ," he murmured, mouth pressed against her ear, "or else someone is going to _hear_. And I really don't think _this_ —" he kissed the skin just beneath her ear, "is a— _position_ —" he shifted his weight, hips grinding into hers, and Roxanne moaned, "—in which you wish to be found, Miss Ritchi."

Roxanne growled, unable to decide if him calling her _Miss Ritchi_ while he was actually inside of her was irritating or sexy. Probably both, damn him.

And damn him for having a point about the necessity of being quiet, too; the last thing she needed was for someone to walk in and see her getting fucked on a desk by a supervillain.

(something about that thought—danger edged with desire rather than fear—)

 _(the knife flicking and twirling through Megamind's fingers earlier, the way his threats never did scare her)_

Roxanne turned her head and bit the edge of his jaw sharply, the way she'd done before, when they were under the desk. Megamind made a shocked sound, body jerking against hers, sending a shudder of pleasure through her. He leaned back and looked at her, his expression of lust mingled with outrage, and Roxanne laughed.

Megamind's breath hissed through his teeth, his body jerking against hers again, harder this time, definitely involuntary, and something clicked rather gloriously together in Roxanne's mind.

"Is _that_ why you got so mad at me for laughing earlier?" she asked, and then laughed again, delighted at the look on his face. "Was it turning you on?"

Megamind growled under his breath and thrust his hips hard once into hers, as if in punishment or warning. Roxanne moaned and he rolled his hips again more gently, and then again, setting up a rhythm that went through her in waves of pleasure and yet felt as if it might drive her out of her mind with its gentleness and slowness.

"I really—don't think," Megamind said, voice rough, "that you—appreciate—the danger of your situation, Miss Ritchi."

— _sexy_ , Roxanne decided; it was definitely sexy, him calling her _Miss Ritchi_ while the two of them were like this, damsel in distress with her skirt shoved up, moaning for more while her supervillain screwed her brains out.

"Oh," she gasped, grinding her hips against him in little circles, "oh, trust me—I am _appreciating_ it, Megamind. Ah—god—come on; _harder_ —"

Megamind made a sound low in his throat and rolled his hips with her, one of his hands moving to her waist, pulling her closer to him, but still keeping the motion of his thrusts maddeningly slow and gentle.

"You—" he said, "—you are the most—impertinent, reckless, unsuitable damsel in distress—in— the entire history of supervillainy—"

"Oh, _help!_ " she said breathily. "Won't somebody save me! I'm so very frightened, Megamind; I promise I'll be good for you if you fuck me _really hard—_ "

"You are a _menace_ ," Megamind snarled, and she laughed.

He stopped thrusting entirely again, leaning down to kiss her instead, and Roxanne arched underneath him, making a frustrated sound into the kiss. Megamind pulled his mouth from hers, pushed himself up just enough to look down into her face for a long moment, his tentacles moving against her, inside her, so good and yet not nearly enough, not nearly—

Roxanne broke, writhing beneath him.

"—please, please, please," she begged, not even close to teasing anymore, her voice high and shockingly needy to her own ears. " _Please_ , Megamind; come on; please fuck me; _please_ ; I need you to fuck me; I need it _so bad_ —"

Megamind growled and drew his hips back, thrust into her hard, then did it again, again—

Roxanne almost sobbed in relief as he continued to fuck her, each hard thrust going through her like a wave crashing against a cliff.

"Yes," she managed to gasp, "Megamind— _yes_ —"

Megamind took his hand from her hip and planted it flat on the desk, hips slamming into hers, each thrust hard enough to rock the desk a little, the constant movements of his tentacles inside her and the tentacle on her clit combining with the hard motion of his hips into something that was so—so uniquely good it was almost overwhelming.

Roxanne gazed up at Megamind, who was looking down into her face with a sort of hungry focus, his eyes dark, his lower lip caught between his teeth—god, it drove her crazy when he bit his lip like that, made her want to bite his mouth herself every fucking time—

—fuck, this was fantastic; why had they never done this before? Now that she had him like this, leaning over her, pounding into her, it was clear to Roxanne that this was what they should always have been doing, the only thing either of them should ever be doing—

She could feel the edge of her orgasm starting to rise; she was torn between chasing after the sensation and not wanting this to ever end. She didn't even need to chase it, though; the feeling built anyway, every thrust of Megamind's hips and twist of his tentacles bringing her closer to the edge.

Megamind had told her to be quiet, but she couldn't be completely silent; each of his thrusts drew an involuntary little whimpering sound from her—fuck, she sounded so helpless, probably looked it to him, too, lying back and taking it, too overwhelmed by pleasure to do anything but moan and whimper and get fucked—

Roxanne's spine arched, her mouth opening in a silent scream as she came in an explosion of pleasure, her body contracting around Megamind's tentacles—

 _(—Megamind, god, yes—)_

Megamind made a sound low in his throat, motion of his hips going erratic, and Roxanne, still gasping from her own climax, looked up at him, wanting to see his face, wanting to see him come for her, because of her, inside of her.

(god, he was utterly gorgeous; he was so beautiful, so beautiful like this)

As his hips ceased to jerk, he leaned down and caught her mouth with his, kissing her feverishly, as if he still needed—he broke the kiss and moved his hips, thrusting into her again, tentacles still moving, not the random little motions of his climax, but purposeful strokes and twists, as if—

"Oh," Roxanne gasped, aftershocks of her orgasm still sparking along her nerves, new pleasure washing through her as Megamind began to fuck her again. " _Oh_ —"

Her clit was throbbing, oversensitive, and yet she couldn't help but rock up into the tentacle he rubbed it with, the sensation something between pain and pleasure. Her breath hissed between her teeth as he stroked her.

Megamind put one hand on her stomach, holding her still. He shuddered and held himself still as well, looked down at her with dark eyes.

"Want to put myself inside you," he said, voice rough. "I want to put all of me inside you; I want to bury myself in you, Roxanne."

He moved the tentacle from her clit, drew the tip of it over the place where the two of them joined, where all the rest of his tentacles still twisted restlessly inside of her.

"Want to fuck you with all of them at once," he said. "Do you want me to try?"

"Oh god yes, please," Roxanne said in a breathless rush. "Yes, yes—"

Megamind bent and kissed her hard, cutting off the rest of her words. Then he leaned back and looked at her, watching her face as he started to press the last tentacle into her.

It sank into her slowly, inch by inch, the unfamiliar sensation of her body stretching around it making Roxanne pant for breath. Finally, with a groan, Megamind pushed it all the way inside of her.

Roxanne made a soft, breathless noise. She felt so completely full, the stretch of her body around him a hot, throbbing ache of pleasure. Her clit felt tight and swollen, overstimulated and neglected at the same time now that he was no longer touching it.

Megamind's tentacles pressed tightly against one another inside her, too tightly to really writhe. They shifted inside her still, though, smooth ripples of movement that made her gasp.

One particularly good shift made her claw at the desk, her back arching as she made a high, keening noise.

"Fuck," Megamind gasped, sounding torn between desire and concern. "Are you all ri—"

He shifted his weight, drawing his hips back, as if to pull away from her, and Roxanne keened again, arching her back once more and pushing his tentacles deeper inside her again.

"— _don't stop_ ," she managed to say, grinding herself down on him desperately, "oh god, please don't stop, Megamind; it feels so good; _please_ —"

Megamind made a wordless, inhuman noise and drew his hips back again, pressed forward into her once more.

"This?" he asked, repeating the motion as Roxanne gasped for breath. "Like this?"

"Yes, god; yes, please; just like that," Roxanne babbled as he continued to thrust into her, pleasure rising in her again. "Need you to fuck me, Megamind, please; I need it; please—please— _please_ —"

Megamind took one hand from the desk and reached down between their bodies, sketched his fingertips lightly over her aching clit.

Roxanne came apart for him, around his tentacles and under his hand, breath sobbing in and out of her chest as waves of bright, merciless pleasure wracked her body.

Megamind's breath hissed and he leaned down on his forearms, kissing her as he thrust into her. Roxanne reached up and took hold of the back of his neck. He made a low sound and broke the kiss, thrusting into her three more times before he came, too, hips jerking and tentacles pulsing inside her.

He panted for breath as his orgasm came to an end, pressing his face to her hair.

Roxanne panted, too, as the last sweet wave of pleasure receded, leaving her breathless and trembling in its wake.

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **Day 21 of my Birthday Fic Month! I really appreciate you all continuing to read and review, and I hope you enjoyed the update.**


	8. Chapter 8

Roxanne's hand slipped from Megamind's neck and he made a soft sound and pushed himself up from her, disentangling their bodies.

Rational thought filtered slowly back into Roxanne's mind, and she realized—really realized, for the first time, that she was lying, half undressed, on a desk, her gown pushed up and her breasts spilling out of her bodice.

Lying there because—

—because she'd just had sex with Megamind.

 _She'd just had sex with Megamind._

Megamind. With _Megamind_. She'd had sex with Megamind.

She swallowed hard and pushed herself up enough to fix her bodice, managed to sit up all the way up on the second try, wincing slightly. Roxanne looked down as covered herself with her skirt again and bit her lip, feeling stupidly—shy and anxious, suddenly.

For a long moment, she couldn't quite bring herself to look over at him.

 _oh come on, Roxanne; you can beg him to fuck you_ —oh god she _had_ begged him, hadn't she?— _but you can't even look at him now?_

Finally, she managed to look over at him. He was on the desk, now, too, lying back on his elbows, head tilted back, eyes closed, still panting, his shirt slipping half off his shoulders _oh god why did he have to look so gorgeous and so gorgeously debauched—_

He glanced over at her, meeting her eyes, and Roxanne glanced away, looked at the material of her skirt again.

She'd never seen him look so—so _relaxed_. Not tired; she'd seen him look more tired than this, seen him stumbling with exhaustion, held together by what she was pretty sure was just caffeine, adrenaline, and sheer stubborn determination not to collapse, but she'd never seen him look _calm_ before. Normally Megamind seemed practically to vibrate with a restless inner energy; even when he was at his most still and poised, there was always a kind of suppressed tension and intensity to him.

Roxanne glanced at him again, unable to help herself.

God, he looked absolutely _languid_ , now. It was—

"Was that all right?" he murmured, looking up at her. "Did you enjoy that?"

Did she—?

Roxanne's face went hot with embarrassment, certain he had to be mocking her. The question of her enjoying it was—she remembered, with a little twist of humiliation, the way she'd whimpered and moaned and begged him like a desperate little slut; god, she must have sounded ridiculous, must have looked ridiculous.

 _Had she enjoyed it._ He'd _seen_ her enjoying it, heard her enjoying it, couldn't have failed to notice she was enjoying it _only too fucking much._

"I came twice," Roxanne said stiffly. "You watched me."

Megamind sat up slowly.

"But that's mostly a question of blood flow and friction for humans, isn't it?" he said, stretching his neck and shoulders in a way that made Roxanne glance away, flushing even deeper, feeling even angrier with herself. "Not necessarily actual enjoyment. That's what I've always read any—"

"Of course I fucking enjoyed it," Roxanne snapped, glaring at him. "Stop laughing at me."

Megamind looked taken aback, a slight frown forming between his eyebrows.

"Laughing at you?" he said.

"Why would you even ask me," she said, still glaring. "You saw how much I enjoyed it; you know how much I enjoyed it—"

"—well, I mean, it's not as if I've got a basis for comparison, here!" Megamind said defensively. "I apologize if my lack of firsthand knowledge concerning the etiquette of post-coital conversation offends you; everything I've read indicated that was an acceptable question, and I just wanted to make sure I hadn't done something wrong!"

He jerked the sides of his shirt together, and started to fasten the few buttons that still remained.

"Clearly I have, though," he said. "Whatever it was, I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Roxanne said, clenching her hands in fists around the material of her skirt.

Megamind looked up at her.

"You're angry with me," he said. "Obviously I did something wrong. And I'm sorry."

(god, why did he have to sound so fucking sincere)

"I'm not angry with you," Roxanne said, digging her fingernails into the silk of her dress, furiously suppressing the tears that wanted to rise. "I'm not angry with you; stop apologizing; I'm not angry with you; I'm angry with myself for being so fucking stupid over you—"

Roxanne cut herself off just a moment too late. Megamind went very still.

"—ah," he said, voice very calm. "Of course. Well."

He stood up from the desk, turning away from her, tucking his shirt in and fastening his trousers and belt again.

"Your regret is of course entirely justified," he said, still in that calm voice, all of the tension back in his shoulders, in the quick sharp movements of his hands. "I fully understand. It was a mistake. I apologize for allowing myself to be carried away, Miss Ritchi. It won't happen again."

"No, of course not," Roxanne said bitterly, zipping up her dress. "Why would it?"

Megamind went still again, but only for a moment. Then he inclined his head and bent to pick up his jacket from the floor.

"Just as you say," he said, without turning to face her. "Why would it."

Roxanne slid off the desk and reached for her shoes.

"Yes, I'm sure once was more than enough for you," she said, hating herself for the way her voice wavered. She jammed her shoes on her feet, blindly fastening the straps, fingers fumbling as tears blurred her eyes. "Knowing you can make cold, frigid Miss Ritchi into a shivering, pathetic mess. It's never about really wanting the ice queen, it's about wanting to know that you can make her melt—"

"What?"

Roxanne straightened up to find him staring at her, a shocked look on his face. She scrubbed viciously at her eyes; she was not going to fucking cry in front of him; she wasn't; she was going to keep that last tiny bit of her dignity.

"Wh—I was wrong," Megamind said rapidly, staring at her with wide eyes. "I was wrong; I don't understand; I don't understand at all."

"What?" Roxanne snarled. "What don't you understand?"

"Everything," Megamind said, shaking his head wildly, still staring. "Everything; I don't understand what—you said that you regretted it, I assured you I understood you didn't wish it to happen again; how did that turn into you accusing me of—of—of not wanting you now?"

"I never said I regretted it," Roxanne said. "Do not try to use that as a fucking excuse to—"

"Wh—yes!" Megamind said, with a sharp gesture. "Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't!"

"You said you were angry with yourself for being so stupid over me!" Megamind said. "What the fuck else could you possibly mean—"

"You don't even _like_ me!" Roxanne lost the battle with herself, tears spilling over. "So stupid—that I—I—when you don't—when—you don't even _like_ me—"

Megamind stared at Roxanne in shock as she scrubbed her hands over her face, roughly wiping away her tears.

She—

His thoughts clicked and shifted, ideas sliding rapidly into place like the tumblers of a lock manipulated by a deft hand until they all lined up and the handle gave and the door swung open to reveal a conclusion that was—

(angry at myself for being so fucking stupid over you)

—impossible, that conclusion was absolutely impossible, but if it was true, then it would be the third impossible thing of the night, because Roxanne had never dated Metro Man and she'd just had sex with Megamind on a desk, and so maybe it really wasn't so entirely impossible that—

"Roxanne—are—are you in love with me?"

Roxanne's breath hissed through her teeth, and Megamind's eyes went wide.

oh

oh holy fuck

"I—" he started.

"Don't," Roxanne snarled. "Don't say anything; don't say anything; don't you fucking dare—"

"Roxanne—"

"Don't—"

Roxanne turned towards the door, made as if to leave, and Megamind moved on sheer instinct, dropping his jacket and grabbing her wrist, spinning her around, and pushing her back against the desk, stepping forward to hold her in place with his body, pinning her hand to the top of the desk.

"Roxanne—"

Roxanne growled at him and twisted violently, but he didn't let go.

"—Roxanne—"

She tried to slap him but he caught her other wrist and pinned it to the desk as well. Roxanne bared her teeth and twisted again—

"—Roxanne, would you please stop trying to kill me long enough for me to tell you that I love you too?"

Roxanne went perfectly still in his arms. She looked at him, her expression suddenly uncertain and vulnerable.

(god—she did love him; she really did—)

Megamind gave a soft, breathless laugh of wonder.

He realized his mistake immediately; pain flashed in Roxanne's eyes for a moment before her expression twisted, covering the hurt with fury.

"Fuck you," she snarled.

"—I'm sorry; I'm sorry—" Megamind said quickly, but Roxanne was already struggling in his arms again, clearly not listening.

"—go to hell! Fucking—let me go—"

"—I didn't mean—"

"Such a goddamn joke to you—"

"—it's not! It's not; I wasn't—would you just—"

"Fuck off!"

"—just listen! I—"

"You laughed at me!" Roxanne said, voice trembling on the edge between tears and fury. "And I get it; it's funny; big joke, but I don't have to stay here and listen to—"

In desperation, Megamind kissed her.

Roxanne bit him.

"Fuck!" he said, letting go of her and stumbling back in shock and pain, hand going to his lower lip.

Roxanne grabbed her purse and darted for the door, but he was faster. Megamind grabbed her arm, pulling her back, pinning her against the desk again.

"I am sorry," he said forcefully. "I am sorry that I laughed, Roxanne; I was laughing at myself; I wasn't laughing at you, but it was still a stupid, thoughtless, cruel thing to do, and I am so, so sorry, and I can imagine how terrible it made you feel, because I was always so afraid you'd laugh at me if you found out that I was in love with you."

"That's not fucking funny."

"I was terrified of you finding out," Megamind said. "I always felt like such a joke. The supervillain in love with his damsel in distress. Such a ridiculous, pathetic cliche. I was so sure you'd laugh if you ever realized how I felt about you; I never imagined you could possibly feel the same way—if I try to kiss you now, Roxanne, are you going to bite me again?"

"Yes," Roxanne snarled, and Megamind laughed breathlessly.

"God, I adore you," he said.

"No, you don't," she said, twisting uselessly in his grip. "Stop it. You don't even like me."

"Where on earth," Megamind said, "did you get the idea that I don't like you? I mean, I would guess it was the deathtraps, but we've already established that you know I'm never going to hurt you, so that can't be it. Why do you think I kidnap you all the time?"

Roxanne went still, suddenly uncertain.

"—that's about Metro Man," she said.

Megamind laughed.

"Metro Man," he scoffed. He leaned forward and put his lips to her ear. "Metro Man is a _convenient excuse._ "

Roxanne shivered, swallowing convulsively.

"You—you said you were going to stop," she said, "since you knew we'd never been dating. You said you weren't going to anymore."

"I would have thought of another excuse," Megamind murmured. He nuzzled beneath her ear and she shivered. "Hmm—how about this—Roxanne Ritchi is a terribly nosy reporter, always snooping and interfering. Obviously the only thing to do as a supervillain is kidnap and threaten her. How's that? Plausible enough?"

Roxanne made a soft, involuntary noise and closed her eyes. Megamind took one hand from her wrist and drew his fingertips slowly up her arm to her shoulder.

"You s-said I was boring," she said, clutching the edge of the desk, unable to make herself push him away, even now that he was no longer pinning her wrist.

Megamind leaned back and frowned.

"I never said that."

"You did," Roxanne said. "You said you'd stop kidnapping me and I could go back to my boring life—"

"—I didn't—"

"You did—

"I didn't mean—" Megamind shook his head. "I meant—I—wouldn't your life be a little more boring without me?" he asked, his voice wistful.

"Of course it would," Roxanne said. "Of course it would, Megamind; that's what I'm trying to— _you are the only exciting thing about me._ I'm—I'm not—oh, you know what I mean!"

"I really don't," Megamind said.

"Right," Roxanne said sarcastically. "You must have somehow failed to notice that I've worn this same damn dress three different times, that I always—"

"No you haven't."

Roxanne's growled at him.

"New years, the charity hospital opening—" she said.

Had he not been paying attention to her enough to even notice—

"Your new year's dress was black," Megamind said, "and your charity hospital opening dress was silver. They were cut the same as this one, yes, but they certainly weren't the same dress. And even if they were—" He shook his head, smiling bemusedly, "—even if they were, they're just dresses, Roxanne. They don't matter. Not the way that you matter."

"The dresses," Roxanne said, gritting her teeth, "are indicative of the larger problem of me being _boring_ —"

"You," Megamind said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, "are the most exciting thing in my life, Roxanne."

Roxanne took a sharp breath.

"Being around you," Megamind said "getting to spend time with you, is the most exciting thing."

"I don't mean—" Roxanne said, "—all right, yes—you're apparently attracted to me; okay; but that doesn't mean you actually like—I'm not talking about the—the attraction thing!"

"Neither am I!" Megamind said, sounding as frustrated as she felt. "The liking you thing and the attraction thing are—I wouldn't be attracted to you if I didn't like you, Roxanne!"

"You said yourself that I drive you crazy!"

"You do!" Megamind said. "That's what I mean! You're so—so— _challenging_."

Roxanne flinched. _Challenging_ ; god, she'd heard that before, heard it over and over again—

"It's _fantastic_ ," Megamind said.

Roxanne's breath caught.

She looked at his face. He looked—

He looked as if he actually meant it, as if the _essential difficulty of being around Roxanne_ was something that someone could actually _enjoy_.

"I complain," she said, in a small voice. "I complain all the time."

"Not all the time," Megamind said. "Only when there's something to complain about. Besides, it's less complaining and more—pointing out hard truths. Sharply. Uncompromisingly. It's very sexy."

"Wh—that cannot possibly be something you find attractive about me!" Roxanne said, outraged.

"Well, it is."

"It is not!" Roxanne said sharply.

Megamind grinned at her.

"But it is," he said.

"No, it's—"

"Is."

"No—"

"It is."

"It's no—"

"Is."

"Stop saying that!"

Megamind laughed.

"You called me a harpy!"

"Oh, you are!" Megamind said, eyes dancing. "You so very much are! My beautiful, furious, indomitable Miss Ritchi! Definitely a harpy—sharp claws, absolutely terrifying, personification of a storm. Incidentally, Roxanne, I happen to be wildly and passionately in love with you; are you still going to bite me if I try to kiss you now?"

"Yes," Roxanne snarled.

Megamind laughed and leaned in to kiss her anyway.

She did bite him, sinking her teeth briefly into his bottom lip—not hard this time, but it probably still hurt, considering how hard she'd bitten him before.

Megamind smiled into the kiss and made a noise of delight, as if she'd just done something particularly charming, and then he cupped her face gently in his hands, and Roxanne was—lost, just lost, unable to do anything but press herself close to him and kiss him back.

Megamind broke the kiss slowly.

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?" he murmured, lips brushing hers.

Roxanne gave a snort of laughter at the absurd normality of the question.

"Yes," she said. " _Fuck_."

Megamind made a delighted sound, stepping back to look at her.

"Really?" he said. "You would? You _would?_ "

Roxanne flushed—god, he looked so—

(wildly and passionately in love with you)

—he _meant_ that, Roxanne realized with a jolt. He meant—

 _(god I adore you the most exciting thing in my life wildly and passionately in love with you)_

—all of that.

He really meant it.

"—yeah," she said, "yeah, I would."

Megamind's face lit up as if this was the best thing he'd ever heard and he laughed, the sound brighter and happier than she'd ever heard from him before.

"Ohhh my god, I can't believe this is actually happening," he said. "I can't believe I actually asked you; oh my god I can't believe you said yes—can we go somewhere now? Right now?"

Roxanne gave a choked laugh, feeling a warm glow spreading out from her chest through her whole body.

 _He really was in love with her._

"Yeah," she said, "now is—now is good. Where do you want to go?"

"Oh, I don't care where we go," Megamind said, picking up his fallen tie. "I just want to go there with you."

Roxanne caught her breath, but Megamind just continued to knot his tie, smiling happily, as if he didn't even expect her to be swept off her feet by that comment.

"What would you like to do?" he asked.

Roxanne swallowed and tried to get her fluttering heart under control. She glanced away from Megamind and her eyes fell on her underwear, still lying on the floor.

"—well, for starters, I'd like to check this room really _thoroughly_ for any more surveillance equipment," she said.

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **notes: Megamind is referencing the mythological descriptions of harpies: winged women with claws who were the personifications of storm winds, and who tormented evildoers. (some ancient authors refer to the harpies as ugly, but others refer to them as beautiful. one specifically mentions that they have beautiful hair.)**

 **This is Day 23 of my Birthday Fic Month! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. Thank you for the nice reviews; they make me so happy!**


	9. Chapter 9

Megamind, finished with his tie, burst into laughter.

" _Very_ thoroughly, yes," he said. " _Extremely_ thoroughly!"

"And try to get rid of fingerprints," Roxanne said, slipping her underwear back on.

" _Fingerprints_?" he said, looking pointedly at the desk. "You're worrying about _fingerprints_?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and Roxanne flushed but fixed him with the most dignified look she could manage.

"And—any other—physical evidence," she said. "Stop laughing! This is all your fault, you know; I wasn't actually planning on taking off my gloves, let alone—"

"—how about I call the brainbots," Megamind said, still snickering, "and have them—discreetly!—come and do a surveillance search and evidence purge of the whole room? They're very thorough."

"Good," Roxanne said fervently. "And let's definitely lock the door while we wait, yeah?"

Megamind went still, eyes widening. He crossed the room swiftly and turned the lock of the door.

"That—" he said, "—that could have been _unbelievably disastrous._ "

"I should have locked it behind myself when I came in here in the first place," Roxanne said, making a face at her own stupidity.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Miss Ritchi," Megamind said, his voice dropping to that really unfairly sexy purr of his as he crossed the room to her. "You have great criminal potential. You just need a little more practice. I'm sure I can teach you."

He bit his lip and smirked at her and Roxanne didn't know whether she was more flattered or turned on.

"And just what," she licked her lips, "makes you think that I need lessons from you, Megamind?"

"Doubting my criminal credentials, Miss Ritchi?" Megamind murmured, leaning forward.

"You didn't even remember to wear gloves," Roxanne said a little breathlessly, tilting her head towards his. "I remembered to wear gloves."

"I didn't need to wear gloves," Megamind said, drawing his fingertips up her arms, making her shiver. "You listened to the recording didn't you? I've been in this office recently; the mayor would expect my fingerprints."

"You didn't remember to lock the door behind yourself, either," Roxanne said, her breathing picking up as Megamind drew a single fingertip over the line of her clavicle.

He frowned, hand going still.

"—you're right, I didn't," he said. "Which was really very stupid of—"

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Megamind," Roxanne said, her tone sugar-sweet and her smile sharp-edged. "You just need a little more practice. I'm sure I can teach you."

This close, it was impossible to miss his reaction—the flash of heat in his eyes, the way his gaze dropped to her mouth.

(oh—oh he'd been telling the truth about that, too, then; he really did think it was attractive when she—)

Megamind kissed her and Roxanne made a sound of exultant relief as she kissed him back.

He really didn't mind! He really found it attractive!

"—you picked the lock," Megamind said, breaking the kiss. "Didn't you? It wasn't just unlocked. You picked it."

"Yeah, with a hairpin," Roxanne said, then felt another rush of pride at the impressed look Megamind gave her.

Then he blinked.

"…I showed you how to do that," he said slowly. "Did—did you already know how to do that when I showed you?"

"No," Roxanne said. "Why do you think I got you to show me?"

"Did you trick me into that particular evil monologue?" he laughed. "I didn't realize! Oh, I wish you'd told me you actually wanted to learn; I would have untied you and had you practice!"

Roxanne laughed.

"Well, I managed it on my own anyway," she said.

"Yeah," Megamind said, "but I'll bet you look hot as fuck while you're doing it."

"You definitely do," Roxanne blurted, without meaning to, then flushed as Megamind's eyes went wide. She covered her embarrassment with a laugh. "Seriously, though, that's all it would have taken? Me saying I wanted to learn?" She arched an eyebrow. "Kind of easy for a supervillain, aren't you?"

"I—"

Megamind stopped, and then he blushed, actually blushed, which was ridiculously satisfying and also ridiculously attractive.

Then he gave her a smoldering look from beneath his lashes, his cheeks still pink—which was even more ridiculously attractive, god.

"My virtue is very easy when it comes to you and your less virtuous tendencies, Miss Ritchi," he said.

Roxanne's heart did a little flip.

"Oh?" she said, trying to keep her tone light and teasing. "Only when it comes to me?"

Megamind gave her a small, almost shy smile.

"Yeah," he said softly, "only you."

Roxanne's heart flipped over again, the sensation of it making her feel strangely fluttery.

"You—you make it sound like I'm the one who fucked you on a desk," she said, her voice a little unsure.

To her surprise, Megamind blushed even harder at that, a bright pink flush painting itself along his cheekbones and the tips of his ears.

"Really, though, Roxanne; that was okay?" he asked earnestly. "You did enjoy it? Because it was wonderful for me, and it seemed to me at the time like you were enjoying it, but research and guesswork isn't the same as experience, so afterwards I wasn't sure—"

"Yes, of course I—research and guesswork—?" Roxanne said as his words registered in her mind, "—research and—and—you—have you never had sex with—with a woman before?"

"…no," Megamind said, sounding surprised at the question, oh god, what—

(what had he said before, when he asked her the first time if she'd enjoyed herself; he'd said he didn't have a basis for comparison, but—)

"But—" Roxanne said, grasping at straws, "—but you've had sex with men before, right?"

"Er…no?" Megamind said, still sounding confused.

( _no basis for comparison_ , he'd said, and he'd said _lack of firsthand knowledge_ and—)

"You've never had sex with anyone before?" Roxanne asked incredulously. "That was your first time?"

"Yes?" Megamind said. "Did—did you really not know that?"

"No, I did not know that, Megamind; how in the hell would I know that!"

"I mean, I figured it was obvious—"

"It was not obvious!" Roxanne choked and covered her face with one hand. "It was very, very not obvious!"

"Are—are you okay?" Megamind asked.

"Yes, I'm just—" Roxanne waved her free hand, fighting shocked laughter, "—just—mentally recalibrating—"

( _everything I've read_ , he'd said. _everything I've read indicated that was an acceptable question_ , and she'd been too caught up in her own head to really register what he was saying—)

She looked up at him, and he looked back at her, his eyebrows drawn together slightly, his fingers twitching nervously.

"Okay, so you clearly have a lot of natural talent, then, Megamind," Roxanne said, "because that was—really fantastic."

"I—really? It was?"

"Yeah," Roxanne said. "I—I didn't know it could feel that good, actually," she added, biting her lip. "It—I kind of always figured it was just—I'm so sorry for reacting like that when you asked me the first time; I thought—"

"That I was making fun of you," Megamind said, tilting his head. "You said you thought I was laughing at you, but I still don't understand why you would think that?"

Roxanne made a face.

"I mean, I—I was thinking that you—well, really, I thought you had a lot more experience than me, and that you were trying to—embarrass me for the way I'd been so, um. Desperate. For—for you. With the—the begging, and the—" Roxanne's face went hot and she gestured, "—everything."

Megamind nodded slowly, but he was still frowning. Roxanne sighed and rubbed a hand over her face.

"Okay so—honestly, it wasn't really so much anything that you said at all; I was thinking about—" She glanced down at the floor and twisted the fingers of one hand in the material of her skirt. "I—I overheard—some people talking about—that tabloid article. About us. And. Me. About me. About how it obviously wasn't true that we were having an affair because I'm not attractive enough or experienced enough or—or sexy enough for you—"

"Come _the fuck_ again," Megamind said, his voice low and dangerous.

Roxanne continued to look at the floor.

"I mean come on," she quoted bitterly, "can you imagine? He'd be wanting to bring out the ropes and handcuffs, and she'd just be complaining the entire time! Nag, nag, nag; can you imagine anyone less fun?" Her lips twisted at the memory. "Don't tell me that Roxanne Ritchi, miss vanilla-as-they-come, miss 'I bought this same dress in three different colors'; don't tell me you really think that she is having some kind of steamy affair with—"

Roxanne looked up at Megamind, gesturing at him—god, and it really did seem ridiculous, looking at him; he was so very—and she was just—

"Do these people lack eyes?" Megamind snarled. "Or just functional fucking brains?"

Roxanne blinked; he sounded—outraged and absolutely furious, and at that, some of the tightness in her chest eased.

"Because they clearly have no idea what they're talking about," Megamind said, looking as furious as he sounded. "Who, exactly, are these people?"

He narrowed his eyes, the lines of his face falling into his 'I am developing an evil plot' expression, and the knot in Roxanne's chest loosened even more.

She let go of her skirt and straightened her spine.

"It doesn't matter who they are," she said. " _They_ don't matter; you're right; fuck them; they don't know what they're talking about!"

"Is that why you were so upset about the dress thing?" Megamind asked. "What the hell could possibly be wrong with buying a dress that looks good on you in multiple colors?"

" _Nothing_ ," Roxanne said, lifting her chin. "There is nothing wrong with it."

"You look gorgeous in that dress!" Megamind said.

"I—you really think so?" Roxanne asked.

"Yes," Megamind said forcefully. "Because you _are_ gorgeous. You looked gorgeous and mysterious in the black dress, and you looked gorgeous and regal in the silver one, and you look gorgeous and—"

His gaze flicked down her body, then up, his eyes going half-lidded, a smile curling the edges of his lips, and Roxanne felt heat go through her at the clear appreciation in his expression. He met her eyes again.

"Dangerous," he said, "you look gorgeous and dangerous in that dress."

Roxanne's breath caught.

"God, you make it seem like I'm some kind of femme fatale."

"Please, Temptress," Megamind murmured. "I'm not the one making you seem like anything."

Roxanne opened her mouth to argue, but Megamind looked at her pointedly.

"Do, please, cast your mind back on the events of the night," he said.

"I—"

"You broke into this office," Megamind said, "you quite literally tore off my clothes; you evil monologued at that security guard…"

Roxanne blinked. Oh. That was—

Wow. Oh, wow; she never would have thought—

Her expression must have reflected her dawning realization, because Megamind laughed. Roxanne laughed, too, rather breathlessly.

She would never have thought she could be so—

"That was a very smooth evil monologue, by the way," Megamind said, a wicked smile curling just the edges of his mouth. "Have you threatened someone with me before?"

Roxanne felt her face flush a little.

"No," she said, "not actually—done it. But I have…fantasized about it a lot."

Megamind's smile went wider and more wicked.

"Have you, now," he said.

Roxanne felt her face flush more, but she laughed, more pleased than embarrassed by his obvious pleasure at hearing this.

"Do—do I need to feel guilty for—for seducing you and making you lose your virginity on a desk?" she asked.

Megamind glanced at the desk in question, then raised his eyebrow at her.

"Making me?" he said with a scoffing sound. "What, like you had to fucking talk me into it?"

Roxanne laughed.

"Well, that's fortunate," she said. She reached up and traced a finger down the line of his facial hair, then attempted a sultry tone. "Because I really don't feel guilty about it."

Megamind's eyes flicked down towards her mouth, his lips parting as he took a sharp breath.

Clearly the sultry tone had been more effective than she'd anticipated, Roxanne thought with a sudden rush of self-confidence. She straightened up to her full height, moved her hand beneath his chin, and kissed him.

And it was very much her kissing him this time, her leading and him responding to her—oh, now that was interesting—

Roxanne took hold of his hip with her free hand and turned the two of them so that he was the one pressed back against the desk, then caught both his wrists and pinned them to the desk top.

"—fuck," Megamind gasped, breaking the kiss, his eyes wide and dark.

He didn't try to break her grip, didn't try to change their positions—oh, that was very interesting, yes.

 _(he'd be wanting to break out the ropes and handcuffs, and she'd just be—)_

Roxanne kissed him again, and he made a soft, moaning kind of sound that went through her in a hot rush, made her feel wild and reckless and absolutely invincible.

 _(my beautiful, furious, indomitable Miss Ritchi)_

She broke the kiss and bit lightly at the edge of his jaw, then let go of his wrists to undo the knot of his tie.

"Turn around," she said, pulling the tie from around his neck. "And put your hands behind your back."

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **Day 25 of my Birthday Fic Month! I hope you are all still enjoying it; I definitely am!**

 **Thank you to KLCtheBookWorm from AO3/tumblr for bringing up the question of whether Roxanne has ever threatened anyone with Megamind before!**


	10. Chapter 10

She gave him a questioning look as she stepped back, wanting to make sure—

"Oh, fuck yes," Megamind said, turning and putting his hands behind his back without hesitation.

Roxanne laughed, and ran her hands down his arms.

"Yeah?" she asked. "You don't mind?"

"Mind?" Megamind looked at her over his shoulder as her hands settled on his wrists. "Do you have any idea how many of my fantasies you're hitting tonight?"

"Really?" Roxanne said. She carefully unbuckled the watch from his wrist and set it aside, out of the way—she was pretty sure that had to be the holographic projector, and she didn't want to accidentally turn it on or damage it when she put the tie around his wrists. "Me tying you up is a fantasy? I would have thought—the other way around—"

"Oh, that's on the list, too," Megamind said, looking away again and tilting his head back as she wound the tie around his wrists. "It's—ah—it's a very long list…"

"Exactly how tight should this be?"

"You should be able to fit two fingers between the tie and my wrist—" Megamind looked down as she tested it, watching her. "—yes, like that, good; that's—ah—" he swallowed visibly, "—that's very good."

Roxanne smirked, settling her hands possessively over his hands, over the binding.

"Oh, really?" she said archly. Megamind's fingers twitched. "Are you liking this?"

Megamind felt himself go hot at Roxanne's words—god, her voice, and that tone; he felt like melting.

"A lot," he said. "I'm—liking it a lot."

Roxanne put her hand on his hip again; turning him around again, pressing him back against the edge of the desk once more and kissing him—

Oh. Ohhh wow; that was—not being able to use his hands while she was kissing him was definitely an exciting thing.

Roxanne broke the kiss with a thoughtful noise, then looked past Megamind, a small crease between her brows.

"Do I need to be worried about this window being right here?" she asked.

Megamind looked over his shoulder and looked out the window speculatively.

"I really don't think so," he said. "We're not particularly close to any of the other buildings. I can't see in any of their windows, can you? And we're several floors up, I doubt anyone could see us from the ground. You can turn the light off, though, if you'd rather, or we can just not—"

Roxanne took hold of his chin and turned his face towards her, then leaned in and kissed him, cutting him off.

"I would not rather," she said, breaking the kiss.

She glanced down at his mouth and rubbed her thumb over his lower lip, then looked back up into his eyes.

"I want to see you," she said, and Megamind felt a pulse of mingled arousal and joy at hearing her say that.

He dipped his head so that he could press his lips to her wrist and Roxanne made a soft noise. Megamind looked up at her through his lashes, saw that her lips were parted and her cheeks flushed.

"By all means, Miss Ritchi," he murmured. "Please feel free to look."

Roxanne took a sharp breath and then kissed him, a biting sort of kiss with a hint of teeth to it. Then she stepped back from him.

"Sit down on the edge of the desk," she said.

Megamind did, and Roxanne swept a glance down his body, looking him over.

And she enjoyed looking at him, Megamind thought with a rush of triumph as he watched her expression, as he watched Roxanne looking at him and liking what she saw.

She met his eyes, smiling, and he smiled back at her, feeling absolutely giddy with happiness. Roxanne's expression changed a little when he smiled at her—it went softer, almost unsure.

"You kind of—" she said, "—you look much too okay with me tying you up."

"I am okay with it," Megamind said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

The fingers of one of her hands twisted in the material of her skirt and her expression of uncertainty deepened.

"You—you must really trust me a lot," Roxanne said, looking as if the prospect of this worried her.

"I do," Megamind said. "But I think you must trust me, too, Roxanne. Don't you? Even considering your general bravery, you've always been much too comfortable when I had you in ropes." He blinked, suddenly understanding something. "Definitely, definitely much too—you never got a restraining order, never pressed charges, never tried to—what would you have done if it had been someone else?"

"Kidnapping me?" Roxanne said, making a face. "Not fucking put up with it, that's for damn sure."

She blinked, looking taken aback, as if she hadn't actually meant to say that. Megamind burst into laughter.

"I mean—" she said.

"Not put up with it!" Megamind repeated, cackling. "Not put up with it! Oh my god, because you do put up with it, don't you? It's always—it's always been something that you're letting me do! Oh my god, Roxanne, how did I never realize?"

"I—didn't actually—realize, either," Roxanne said, looking close to laughter herself, "that's—but, I mean—it was you. You're—and I—"

"Trust me," Megamind said. "Don't you?"

Roxanne nodded and he smiled, happiness warm in his chest.

"I think that why I trust you," he said. "Because—people don't usually give me the benefit of the doubt. You've—the way you talk to me; the way you act towards me; you've always treated me like I'm—as if I can be trusted to do the right thing—as if I'm basically a good person."

"Because you are," she said, in that tone of exasperation she always used to point out the specific ridiculousness of each evil scheme. "For fuck's sake, Megamind."

"Supervillain," Megamind said.

"Charity hospital."

He made a face at her and Roxanne rolled her eyes at him, the gesture such a familiar one that he couldn't stop himself from giving a breathless little laugh, affection making his heart give a hard pulse.

"And that's why I trust you, Roxanne," he said.

Roxanne tilted her head, frowning.

"Because I don't think you could look at me and see something good," he said, "if you weren't so good yourself."

Roxanne gave a growl and rather pounced on him, taking his face between her hands and kissing him hard.

"You," she said, "you are crazy, do you know that, Megamind?" She unbuttoned his collar and kissed his throat. Megamind tilted his head back and made a blissful sound. "God—aren't you scared at all?"

"Oh, now you know how it feels, Miss Ritchi!" Megamind laughed. "Isn't it maddening? I'm much more cooperative than you are, though; would you like me to pretend? Oh, no!" he added in a breathy voice. "Please don't hurt me, Miss Ritchi; I promise I'll do anything you like! How's that?"

"Smartass," Roxanne said, unbuttoning his few remaining buttons and pushing his shirt down over his shoulders.

"I've been very bad," Megamind agreed, biting his lip and smiling at her. "Are you going to make me be good for you?"

Roxanne's breath hissed between her teeth. To his surprise, though, she didn't give him another of those hard kisses. Instead, she smiled at him, slow and dark and seductive.

"Yes," she purred, "I think I will."

Megamind shivered and her smile widened.

She kissed his throat, one hand sliding around to hold the back of his neck. The fingertips of her other hand trailed down the center line of his body, from the hollow of his throat to the buckle of his belt, leaving a trail of shivery sensation in their wake. She didn't unbuckle his belt, though, just let her hand settle there and continued to kiss his throat, lips pressing beneath his jaw, brushing over his adams apple, kissing the place where his neck met his shoulder.

Megamind wasn't sure which was more maddeningly good, her lips on his throat or the warm weight of her hand between his legs, or the hand she had on the back of his sensitive neck.

Roxanne rubbed her thumb against the place where the back of his neck met his head, and oh god, yes, that was definitely the best, yes—

He gasped, arching back into the touch, forgetting, for a moment, that his hands were tied. He made an alarmed noise as he almost overbalanced, but Roxanne caught him, her other arm sliding around his waist.

"Careful," she said, tone gently admonishing, and when he flushed, he wasn't sure if it was more from embarrassment or arousal.

"Oh," he said, voice soft and shocked—at being caught, at being held like this, at—everything, really.

He saw Roxanne's expression change as she took in his reaction, saw it soften.

"Lie back," she said quietly. "I've got you."

"Oh," Megamind said again, and slowly let himself relax back into her arms, until she was holding up his weight.

She lowered him just as slowly, settled his head down on the desk with care.

"Oh," he whispered.

Roxanne, bending over him, still, slid her hand from the back of his neck and stroked his cheek.

"Hey," she said, voice as soft as the touch. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice hushed. "Yeah, I'm okay."

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Your hands aren't uncomfortable like this?" she asked. "I haven't actually ever been on this side of the restraints thing before, so you're going to have to tell me."

Megamind laughed.

"My hands are fine," he said. "You tied me loosely enough that I've got some freedom of movement, and they're under the arch of my back like this; I don't really have a lot of my weight on them. You know, when I offered to give you lessons in villainous behavior, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind, Miss Ritchi."

She smirked down at him.

"Oh, wasn't it?" she asked.

He grinned up at her.

"No, no; I'm lying, it totally was," he said.

Roxanne laughed.

"Wildest dream scenario version of what I had in mind, really," he said.

Roxanne shook her head, smiling.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked.

"I have no idea, but I'm really looking forward to it," Megamind said honestly.

Roxanne laughed again and straightened up. Her hands settled on his belt again. She still didn't unbuckle it, though, just left them there and stood looking down at him for a long moment. Megamind squirmed a little impatiently, and Roxanne gave a small, satisfied smirk—okay, good, surely now she was going to—

She traced over the buckle with a fingernail.

"Oh, come on!" Megamind burst out. "Come on; quit—quit teasing!"

She tapped her fingernail sharply on his buckle and his whole body seemed to throb in response.

"Roxanne—"

She took her hands from his belt entirely, placing them flat on the desk on either side of him. He made a noise of protest which turned into a gasp as she leaned down and licked over one of his nipples. Roxanne made a satisfied noise and did it again, then sucked lightly at it.

(holy hell; he'd always imagined that would feel good, but he'd never thought it would feel that good)

She moved to the other side, then reached up and rolled the first nipple beneath two fingers and Megamind moaned, hands jerking in his restraints.

Roxanane straightened up again and reached for his belt, finally—finally! unbuckling it. She traced over the button of his pants, then the line of his zipper, and the line of his sex throbbed beneath his clothes.

She didn't tease so long, this time, thank god, but flicked the button open and undid the zipper. Then she pulled apart the sides of the material, tugged his pants down slightly, exposing his sex to the cool air.

—and then she stopped again and looked at him, just looked at him, gaze sweeping up and down his body.

"Do you have any idea how hot you look like this?" she asked.

"Roxanne," Megamind said, shifting restlessly on the desk. "Roxanne, come on, please—"

"You did say that I should feel free to look, Megamind," she said, smirking at him.

"Yes, yes; looking is good," Megamind said, "but touching would be better."

"You're very mouthy for a captive," Roxanne said, arching an eyebrow.

"I learned from the best," Megamind said.

She grinned, clearly able to tell he'd meant that as praise. Then her gaze went to his sex again and she tilted her head thoughtfully.

God, that expression on her face—his sex ached for her to touch him, his tentacles, still held inside, twisting against each other.

"The tentacles," she said, "is that automatic? Do I just just need to turn you on more?"

"—it's—no, it's—voluntary," Megamind managed to say, "it's voluntary past a certain point, and you—I am more than turned on enough already; I just—" he stopped, his face heating.

"What?" Roxanne asked, watching his face, her tone somewhere between arch and honestly curious. "You just what?"

(oh god, his face must be absolutely fuchsia right now, he was blushing so hard)

"I—thought you might like to play with me like this, first," he said.

Roxanne's face lit up in a rather wicked expression.

"Really?" she drawled. "You thought I might want to? Or you wanted me to?"

"Um—I—both?"

Roxanne began, slowly, to smile.

"Ask me to," she said.

Megamind squirmed, caught between embarrassment and desire, mind twisted up by the inexplicable way that the embarrassment seemed to actually increase the desire.

"Please," he said.

Roxanne raised her eyebrows.

"Please what?" she said.

"Please, Roxanne," he said.

She gave him a pointed look.

"Please, Miss Ritchi."

Roxanne laughed, then clicked her tongue at him in admonition.

"Trying to cheat," she said, "you know that's not what I mean, Megamind."

Megamind made a face at her and she laughed again.

"Be a good boy and ask for what you want," she said, placing one hand flat on the desk and leaning over him, tracing the fingertips of her other hand lightly over his stomach.

(fuck fuck fuck oh god)

"Please will you finger me," Megamind said in a desperate rush, "Miss Ritchi," he added, feeling that it couldn't hurt.

"So polite!" Roxanne said delightedly, sliding her fingertips lower, brushing down the slick line of his sex.

She let just the tip of one finger slip between the edges of his sex, and then slid it up and down the line of him teasingly while he moaned in mingled pleasure and dismay.

"Like this?" Roxanne asked. "Do you like this?"

"I—yes," Megamind said, "but—ah—god, come on—"

Roxanne switched to teasing him with the tip of a different finger and made an inquiring noise. Megamind wriggled on the desk again, but there was little he could actually do in this position—with his wrists bound, he was unable to reach for her hand and pull it closer; and lying back on the desk like this, his feet didn't touch the ground, only the tips of his toes brushing against the floor, no way to get leverage.

"Please," Megamind said, "please, Roxanne—Miss Ritchi—please, please—"

"Just look at you," Roxanne said, in the triumphant tones of an evil monologue, "terrifying supervillain, tied up and half-naked and completely at the mercy of his damsel in distress—wet and desperate and begging to get fucked—"

"Yes—please, god, yes—"

"What would Metrocity think?" Roxanne said.

"That I'm lucky as fuck," Megamind gasped out, a bolt of desire going through him at hearing her say their city's name like that, like him, like she was the supervillain and he was her captive, and he was, wasn't he; god, he always had been—

Roxanne laughed, a delighted ripple of sound that made his tentacles writhe inside him even harder, and right now Megamind didn't care what people would think if they could see him like this, tied up and bent back over a desk with his clothes undone, vulnerable and needy and begging for it, didn't give a fuck what anyone would think.

"Please," he babbled, spreading his legs in shameless invitation, "please, Roxanne, please; I need it; I need your fingers inside me, Miss Ritchi; I need you to fuck me with them until I come; I need you to fuck me; fuck me and make me be good for you, please—"

Roxanne thrust two fingers into him and Megamind moaned, his sex pulsing, contracting reflexively around her, all of his tentacles twisting, trying to wind themselves around her fingers. She pulled her hand back, then pressed her fingers in again—again—again—setting up a rhythm.

When she added a third finger, Megamind sobbed, his back arching.

"There," she cooed at him, "good. Look at you, Megamind; you're so good."

Megamind panted for breath.

"I'm—not," he said, voice uneven.

"You are, though," she said. "You're so good. So very sweet."

"Not—sweet," Megamind said, his hips jerking, his body trying to find a way to fuck itself harder on Roxanne's fingers. "Not—"

"Oh, but you are," Roxanne said, voice rich with affection. "So very, very sweet. So very, very good. You can try to cover it up with spikes and leather all you like, Megamind, but I know you. I know how good you really are."

"—oh," he gasped.

Roxanne made a humming noise of approval and began to thrust her fingers inside him harder, faster, filling him up, pushing into the tangle of his tentacles, fucking him.

Pleasure rose in him, crested like a wave, and he let it break over him, let himself come, moaning, on Roxanne Ritchi's fingers, with her leaning over him, looking down at him, inside of him.

He panted for breath as his orgasm ended, then whimpered at the feeling of her fingers still inside him, his need for a second climax rising up in him even more quickly than usual. Roxanne slipped her fingers out of him and Megamind made an involuntary noise of distress.

"Are you okay?" Roxanne asked, looking concerned, and he had to give a breathless kind of laugh.

"Yes," he said, "fuck. I'm—"

She placed her hand flat on his stomach, still looking worried, and Megamind couldn't help arching into the touch of her hand and moaning.

"Please," he said. "God—don't—don't stop; don't just leave me like this—"

"Oh," Roxanne said, understanding dawning in her expression, "is the second orgasm _has to be_ for you, not just _can_ be?"

Megamind made a noise of affirmation and she stroked her hand over his stomach, making him moan again.

"How badly do you need it?"

Megamind laughed again at the tone of her voice—she sounded less as if she was teasing him and more as if she honestly wished to satisfy her curiosity about this particular quirk of his biology. God, he loved her.

"Extremely badly," he said. "Do you want me to beg again? Because I am very willing to beg again."

Roxanne laughed and gave him an arch look.

"Yes, you do beg very easily, don't you, Megamind?" she said. "And you do it so beautifully, too. I wasn't thinking of that, though, I was—would you be up for trying something—different?"

She gave him an uncertain look, her hand moving from his stomach to his hip.

"Almost definitely," Megamind said with a laugh, and she gave him a relieved smile and rubbed her thumb over the edge of his hipbone. Still held inside his body, his tentacles twisted and writhed, aching to be touched again. "What—ah—what did you have in mind?"

Roxanne bit her lip, a flush lighting up her cheeks, her gaze flicking away from his, and she hesitated, which really only increased his anticipation, god, was she doing that on purpose? She didn't look like she was even doing it on purpose. Did she have any idea how maddeningly gorgeous she was?

She glanced back at him, her eyes meeting his again.

"Do you maybe want to tie me up this time?" she asked quickly.

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **Happy Day 27 of my Birthday Fic Month!**


	11. Chapter 11

Megamind's entire body gave a hard pulse of desire.

"Yes," he said. "Holy hell, Roxanne, yes, I do."

She laughed, blushing harder, looking relieved—had she actually thought for a moment that his answer to that wouldn't be yes?

"You are really hitting a lot of my fantasies tonight," Megamind said fervently, as she helped him to sit up.

He turned, still sitting on the desk, to let her untie his wrists, and he felt her hands settle over his bindings, felt her press her lips against his ear. He closed his eyes.

"You're not the only one with fantasies, Megamind," Roxanne whispered, lips brushing against his ear.

His eyes flew open as he felt the tie loosen around his wrists. Not the only one with—?

Roxanne tugged the knot loose and began to pull the tie from around Megamind's wrists. Then she gave a little squeak of surprise as, in a sudden motion, he slipped free of the binding and out of her hands, standing, taking hold of her arms, and swiftly flipping their positions so that she was backed against the desk and he was holding her.

"Oh," Roxanne said, and swallowed, gaze catching on his eyes, his mouth.

"Have you really?" he asked, sliding his hands down her arms, palms gliding over her skin.

"Have—have I really what?" Roxanne asked.

"Had fantasies about me tying you up," Megamind said, his fingers wrapping around her wrists.

"Yes," Roxanne said. "Yes, I've—I have."

Megamind made a pleased noise and leaned forward to kiss her neck. Roxanne took a shuddery breath and tilted her head back. He kissed the corner of her jaw.

"And do you want me to, Roxanne?" he murmured. He kissed her ear. "Do you want me to tie you up and take you right here, Miss Ritchi?"

"Yes," Roxanne moaned, arching into him, "god, Megamind, I want it; yes, please."

She flushed at the sound of her own voice—she sounded so needy again, as if he hadn't already fucked her less than fifteen minutes ago. Was that—? Was that okay—?

Megamind kissed her, his hands still holding her wrists, and Roxanne let herself melt into the kiss, let the sensation of it drown out her worry.

He wanted her, too; he'd let her tease him and finger him until he begged her. He wasn't going to laugh at her for wanting him. Megamind wasn't going to laugh at her; he wouldn't do that.

I think you must trust me, too, he'd said, and Roxanne really did trust him, trusted him not just—not just to tie her up and not hurt her physically, but trusted him to—that was why it had hurt so badly, when she'd thought he was laughing at her before. Because she'd trusted him not to.

But he hadn't been laughing at her; he wasn't going to laugh at her. She was safe with him.

Megamind let go of her wrists to wrap an arm around her waist and tangle a hand in her hair, still kissing her, and Roxanne wound her arms around him, his skin silken-cool against hers, and kissed him back.

God, why did she have to be wearing this damn dress, still; she wanted to feel him against her entire body, wanted—

Megamind broke the kiss and leaned back enough to give her a look that sent a rush of heat down her spine—his eyes half-lidded, his kiss-flushed mouth curling wickedly. Then he picked up the tie from where it had fallen on the desk and shifted back from her.

"Turn for me, please, Roxanne," he said.

Roxanne swallowed and did, turning and putting her hands behind her back. But when Megamind's hands settled over her wrists, he didn't begin winding the tie around them, but gently took hold of her hands and moved them so that they rested on the top of the desk. He leaned forward, pressing against her back and wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her hips back into his.

"Can I have you like this?" he asked, mouth beside her ear. "Is like this all right?"

"Yes," Roxanne arched her back and pressed back against him a little harder, grinding her ass against him.

Megamind's breath hissed through his teeth and he clutched at her hip, his body jerking against hers in a way that was both unbelievably gratifying and unbelievably hot.

She could see their reflections in the window—her with her hands on the desk and Megamind behind her, holding her. It was absolutely mesmerizing. Megamind kissed her neck and Roxanne tilted her head back and moaned, watching their reflections. They looked hot—she looked hot. She'd never seen herself look like that before.

"Bend forward for me, then," Megamind said. He kissed the skin just beneath her ear. "And reach for the other side of the desk."

Roxanne felt her whole body go hot as she complied with his directions. Megamind made a pleased noise and rested his hand on the small of her back for a moment, then moved around to the other side of the desk.

Seeing him—actual him, not just his reflection—while she was like this, while she was bent over a desk for him, wrists held out, waiting submissively to be tied up and fucked—made her feel incredibly vulnerable. Roxanne looked up at him.

Should she feel embarrassed about—doing this, wanting this, about what she looked like?

Megamind took a shaky breath and looked down at her with something between desire and worship in his expression, and the knot of worry that had been starting to form in Roxanne's chest loosened. There was no feeling embarrassed when he looked at her like that. There was no feeling anything but amazing when he looked at her like that.

She smiled at him and his lips parted. Roxanne felt her heartbeat pick up.

"So," she said, glancing at the tie he still held in one hand, "are you gonna tie me up or what?"

She wiggled her fingers at him invitingly, and he laughed, then moved forward.

"This," Megamind said as he looped the tie swiftly through the handle of the desk drawer and secured it, "this is far and away the most cooperative you have ever been for me, Roxanne; do you realize that?"

"Well, I guess you should have told me that you wanted to bend me over the nearest available surface and fuck me earlier," she said as he began to tie her wrists. "I would have felt you deserved a little more cooperation."

Megamind made that sound that was somewhere in between a moan and laughter.

"Impossible, contrary woman," he said. "You have no idea the effort I went to, trying to keep you from finding out!"

"Ridiculous supervillain."

"Impertinent damsel. Are you comfortable like this?"

Roxanne shifted experimentally.

"Yeah, this is good," she said, then tilted her head up towards him and made a demanding kind of noise.

Megamind clearly understood what she wanted, because he laughed and bent to kiss her, still laughing. Then he straightened up at looked at her again appreciatively for a long moment before moving around to the other side of the desk again.

Roxanne watched in the window's reflection as he stroked his fingertips down her neck, whisper-light. She shivered. His fingers settled on the tab of her zipper and he hesitated for a moment—teasing? Or giving her a chance to tell him not to pull it down?

She made an encouraging noise and shifted beneath his hand, and he pulled the tab down.

—though, really, why he'd bothered with the zipper she didn't know; it only went down to her waist; he wouldn't be able to take her dress off with her hands tied like this, or even pull her straps down to bare her breasts. The only thing he'd be able see better with the zipper open would be her back, and she couldn't imagine that would be particularly exciting to him.

Megamind stroked his fingertips over her back and Roxanne shivered again.

"You have such beautiful skin," he said.

"Really?" Roxanne blurted, surprised. "I mean—yours is so much prettier."

She saw him look up sharply at the reflection of her face in the window.

"You think my skin is attractive?" he asked.

Roxanne gave his reflection a bemused look.

"Yeah, of course," she said. "It's so—flawless and it's such a gorgeous color. Mine is just—ordinary. And freckled."

"I love the freckles," Megamind said, "I think they're beautiful. Like stars."

He touched a point her back with a single fingertip, traced a line to another point—from one freckle to another, Roxanne realized. Like he was drawing the connecting lines of a constellation.

Her heart did a ridiculous little flip.

"You're kind of a romantic, aren't you?" she said.

Megamind laughed.

"There is really no 'kind of' about it," he said. "Although it's not something that I advertise to most people. Would you like me to take your shoes off?"

"I—no," Roxanne said. She bit her lip. "Having them on like this is—"

She hesitated, trying to think of how to describe it, the way that the heels raised her hips and made her tilt forward more. It didn't feel precarious or dangerous; they weren't tall or narrow enough for that, but—

"It feels damsel-y," she said, finally. "I'm—kind of enjoying it."

Megamind gave a soft laugh, placing his hand flat against her back, his skin against hers.

"Isn't that interesting," he said, and Roxanne felt herself flush at his tone, at the way he sounded as if he was about to gloat about some kind of particularly clever evil trick. "And here I always thought you disliked being my damsel in distress, Miss Ritchi."

Roxanne shifted beneath his hand, trying to get him to stroke her back, to touch her more, but he simply left his hand where it was and pressed down slightly—not with enough force to actually make her stop moving, but the implied command in it made her go still for him anyway. She heard Megamind take a sharp breath.

"Oh, but you don't dislike it," he said, voice wicked and silky. "Do you? You don't dislike it at all. Have you been afraid that I'd realize how much you like it? How much you want it?"

"I'm—I'm not afraid," Roxanne said.

"You're trembling."

Roxanne felt his lips brush the base of her neck and her hands jerked in the restraints.

"Megamind," she said, voice shaking as he kissed down her spine. "Megamind, please."

"Please what?" Megamind said. "Please let you go?" He ran his hand down one of her legs, then slowly began to lift the skirt of her dress up. "Please stop?"

Roxanne made a noise of frustration and he paused, as if he really was going to stop.

"Don't stop," she said. "Please—please don't stop."

Megamind pushed her skirt the rest of the way up, baring her legs. He settled a hand on her ass and Roxanne couldn't help but whimper.

"You really have been afraid I'd realize, haven't you?" Megamind said, voice gentler, now.

Roxanne closed her eyes tightly.

"Yeah," she admitted.

"What were you afraid of?" Megamind asked, voice still soft. "Were you afraid I would laugh at you? I was afraid of that, too."

"I—yes," Roxanne said in a small voice. "I was afraid you'd laugh, and not want me back and—I was afraid you'd stop. Kidnapping me. I was afraid that—that you wouldn't even want me as your damsel anymore, that you'd feel like all the—the challenge of me—was gone."

"Roxanne," Megamind said gently, splaying his hand over her hip, "Roxanne—you couldn't stop being challenging if you tried."

Roxanne gave a choked little near-sob and hid her face against the desk.

"You—you don't think I'm weak for—for wanting this?" she asked. "For wanting you to—to tie me up and take control and fuck me?"

"No, of course not," Megamind said, "of course not, Roxanne; why would I—why would I ever think less of you for wanting this? You saw how much I enjoyed you doing that for me."

"Yeah," Roxanne said quietly, "but you're not the damsel, Megamind."

She heard Megamind take a sharp breath.

"Oh," he said, "oh, I get it—Roxanne, I am—you are so much more than just that."

"But I like being that," she said, voice trembling, "I like it; that's the problem—"

"It's not, though," Megamind said. "It's not a problem. It is—very much the opposite of a problem, trust me."

Roxanne made herself look up, met the gaze of his reflection in the window.

"Trust me," he repeated softly. "You can trust me. You can let me take control just for a little while. You can take it back whenever you wish to, Roxanne; you know that."

"—yes," Roxanne said, and took a steadying breath. "Yes, I—I know that."

"And I know that, too," Megamind said. "I promise."

"Yes," Roxanne said. She swallowed. Yes, of course—this was Megamind; she was safe. "God," she added, giving a wobbly laugh, "what does it say about me, that the most trustworthy person I know is a supervillain?"

Megamind laughed; she watched him do it in the window.

"Actually, you know what, on second thought," she said, "I'm pretty sure that says more about _you_ than it does about me."

Megamind snorted with laughter.

"And you say I'm mouthy as a captive," he said.

"—do you still want me?" Roxanne asked.

"Always," Megamind said. He drew his fingertips up her hip, then placed his hand on her ass. "Would you like me to continue with your kidnapping, now, Miss Ritchi?"

Roxanne made an involuntary moaning sound, desire jolting through her at hearing Megamind talk about this like—like it was one of their ordinary kidnappings, when he had her skirt pushed up and his hand on her ass.

Like they always did this during kidnappings, or like this was what the two of them had been working towards all along, each kidnapping a step closer to this point, the point of him tying her up and bending her over and having her.

"Yes," she said. "Yes—please. I—I want you to."

Megamind made a quiet, satisfied noise.

"You're so brave," he murmured, tracing his fingertips over the lace of her underwear. "Asking me to tie you up. Telling me you want it. My beautiful, brave damsel."

He drew his fingers between her legs and Roxanne whimpered and ducked her head, her face hot. Megamind had to be able to tell how wet she was; her underwear must be soaked. His fingertips flicked lightly against her clit and she took a sharp breath.

"Don't worry," Megamind said, voice evil-monologue smooth as he continued to stroke her clit through the lace. "I have you now, Miss Ritchi. I'm not going to let you go."

Roxanne gasped, grinding herself against his fingers as best she could in this position.

"I'm afraid our current circumstances require me to actually request that you not scream," Megamind said. "But I am going to have to hear you beg for me."

He rubbed her harder and she moaned. Megamind rested his free hand on her back, his skin cool against hers and the weight of it anchoring, reassuring.

"I'm waiting, Miss Ritchi," he said, and slid his fingers beneath the edge of her underwear to touch her properly. "I want to hear you beg."

Roxanne squirmed, hands jerking in her restraints, face burning, wanting to beg but not quite able to let herself.

She gave a little cry of dismay when he took his hand away, but then gasped instead as he tugged her underwear down.

He leaned over her and she felt his tentacles pressing and writhing against her. His hand slid into her hair, fingers tightening there—not hard enough to hurt, but firmly enough to make her lift her head and look up at their reflection in the window. Roxanne gasped at the sight of them.

"Be a good damsel," Megamind said, voice rough, "and beg your supervillain to fuck you."

"Oh god," Roxanne said, control breaking, "oh, god, Megamind, please fuck me, please—please—I need it; I need you so bad; I've wanted it for so long—

"So," Megamind growled, pressing two tentacles into her at once, "have I."

Roxanne moaned as he drew his hips back, pushed into her again.

"You have—no idea," he said, pressing a third tentacle into her, "how often—I have imagined this." He pulled her hips back into his. "How much I've—wanted you." He pushed a fourth tentacle in and rubbed the fifth slickly over her clit as he set up a rhythm of thrusting into her. "Wanted you so desperately, Roxanne For—so long. You and your—clever questions and your sarcastic comments and your—infuriating poise. Every—goddamn kidnapping—wanted to see you like this, wanted you to feel it, too, wanted—you."

Megamind slid his hand from her hair down her neck, then placed it flat against the desk as he thrust into her.

"Yes—Megamind—" Roxanne braced her bound hands against the desk and pushed back harder into his thrusts. "All of them," she said feverishly, "all of them, fuck me with all of them again; I need it; please—"

Megamind made a snarling sound and shoved her underwear down farther, past her knees, until they fell to the floor. Roxanne untangled one foot from them and spread her legs farther, arched her back. He splayed his hand on her back, holding her still, and pushed the last tentacle into her.

Roxanne panted and dug her fingernails uselessly into the desktop, ready for the sensation this time but still not prepared for how insanely fantastic it felt, having him fill her up so completely.

Megamind moaned, an alien sound, one of his hands braced on the desk and the fingers of the other tightening on Roxanne's hip. He didn't move, though, nothing except for the twisting motion of his tentacles, which was so good but not even close to enough. Roxanne made a soft sound of frustration and desire and rocked forward, the heels of her shoes leaving the ground, her upper body pressing harder into the top of the desk—then rocked back towards Megamind again, pushing herself back onto his tentacles. Megamind gasped.

God—yes—oh fuck that felt so good—

She did it again, harder this time, then again, again, again, fucking herself on his tentacles shamelessly.

"Please," she almost sobbed, "please fuck me, Megamind, please—"

Megamind gave a low, moaning growl, grabbed her hips, and thrust into her hard, hips snapping over and over again.

Roxanne heard herself making a stream of needy little noises, whimpers and moans and mewling sounds, helpless against how good being fucked like this made her feel. Megamind moved one hand from her hip to stroke her clit and Roxanne gave a kind of whisper-cry and writhed underneath him.

Gasping for breath, she looked up at their reflections in the window again—god, they looked unbelievably hot; she looked like the most pornographic version of a damsel in distress possible, bent over, skirt up, wrists tied, a look of wanton pleasure on her face as her supervillain took her hard from behind.

And beyond their reflections, the city lights, not near enough for anyone to really see into the room, but bright enough for Roxanne to still feel as if she was on display, as if their whole city was watching them, watching her get fucked by Megamind, seeing how much he wanted her.

In the window, she looked at Megamind's face again, saw that he was already looking at her, watching her face with an expression of focused desire. He gave an especially hard thrust and Roxanne came in an explosion of pleasure, the lights of the city blurring and dancing in front of her eyes. Megamind groaned, his hips stuttering in their rhythm as he came, too.

Roxanne lay her cheek against the cool desktop and tried to remember how to breathe. Megamind leaned forward, pressing himself against her back, and panted for breath.

After a moment, he made a soft noise and kissed her neck. Slowly, he straightened up, untangling himself from her and pulling her dress back down. Then he sat down on the desk and reached to untie her hands.

She made a quiet sound as her wrists were released—she hadn't actually realized she was pulling on the restraints that much.

Roxanne tried to stand up straight, but her knees didn't really seem to want to work properly. They buckled, but she caught herself on the desk and Megamind caught her waist before she could actually fall.

"Are you all right?" Megamind asked, sounding honestly concerned. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Roxanne gave a breathless laugh and carefully let him guide her to sit on the desk with him.

"No," she said, "you didn't hurt me. I—think—I think maybe I just need to lie on this desk in a melted puddle for a while, though; holy shit, Megamind."

Megamind laughed, too, soft and relieved, and gently pulled her back into his arms. Roxanne blinked, a little surprised but definitely not displeased.

"Or lie on you," she said. "Mmm—yes. Definitely lie on you. You're much more comfortable than the desk."

He made a satisfied noise and tightened his arms around her. Roxanne hummed and closed her eyes, feeling incredibly happy and incredibly relaxed. Megamind turned his head to press a lazy kiss to the corner of her jaw.

"We are going to have to check this room so thoroughly," Roxanne murmured.

Megamind snickered.

"So thoroughly," she repeated.

"Very thoroughly," he agreed.

"Unbelievably thoroughly."

"Possibly I should just burn down the building."

Roxanne gave a snort of laughter and felt him press his face to the side of her neck and smile against her skin.

"We should really do this in a bed next time," he said.

"Much more private."

"Softer."

"We could actually be naked."

"I could try to get you to scream," Megamind said, and Roxanne laughed. "And we could nap afterwards, which would be absolutely ideal, don't you think?"

Roxanne bit her lip.

"I—I don't know for sure if I'll be up for—any more sex tonight," she said, "But. If you wanted, you could—you could take me home with you tonight?"

Megamind leaned back enough to look down at her.

"Really?" he said, voice soft. "You'll come back to the lair with me?"

Roxanne swallowed and reached up to wrap a hand around one of his wrists.

"You asked before where I wanted to go," she said. "I'd—I'd like—to go home with you. If you want me to."

Megamind's face lit up, soft and slow.

"I want that very much, Roxanne," he said.

"I do love you, you know, Megamind," Roxanne said abruptly,

The words felt awkward and graceless and inadequate in her mouth, nothing like the beautiful words he'd had for her, when called her the personification of a storm, when he told her that he adored her, when he said that he was wildly and passionately in love with her.

And of course he was aware of how she felt; she knew that; he'd guessed at it, earlier, had said I love you too, when he said he loved her, but it—it still seemed important that she actually tell him, actually say it to him, even if she didn't know how to say it pretty or well or anywhere near good enough.

Megamind must have understood how difficult just saying it at all was for her, because his whole expression went soft and wondering and filled with so much adoration that it was a little hard for her to look at him.

"Thank you," he breathed. "I love you, too."

Roxanne relaxed at the words and tilted her face up for a kiss. Megamind bent down and kissed her. She squeezed his wrist and sat up, leaning forward.

"Could you zip up my dress?" she asked.

Megamind kissed the base of her neck and did. Roxanne sighed and stretched her neck, then turned languidly to face him, watching as he began to pull his shirt back up.

"Hmm," he said, looking down at it critically, "I think this shirt has just about had enough, wouldn't you say?"

He looked up at her and gave her a quick, sharp-edged smile, his eyes dancing with amusement. Roxanne laughed, taking in the full effect of the shirt—the lipstick stain on the collar, the missing buttons, the general crumpled appearance.

"Yeah, there is no way you can walk downstairs looking like that," she said. "Even in a disguise." She looked down at herself. "And this dress is not exactly in mint condition either."

"No," Megamind said, fastening up his pants and belt again. "No, I don't think you should go downstairs like that, either." He tapped his fingertips thoughtfully on the top of the desk. "Let me think of the best way to do this…what time is it?"

Roxanne reached over and picked up his watch, looking at the face of it.

"Eleven thirty-seven," she said, holding the watch out to him. "The party ends at midnight; we can probably just wait until everybody leaves, right?"

"If you don't mind," Megamind said, taking the watch from her and buckling it around his wrist. "I'll also be able to call a larger group of brainbots to do the sweep and clean, if we wait until everyone is gone."

"I don't mind waiting," Roxanne said. "I want to listen to the rest of that recording, anyway."

Megamind laughed.

"Nosy reporter," he said, his tone making the words into praise. "Didn't you get a chance to listen to the whole thing?"

"No," Roxanne said, giving him a pointed look, "someone interrupted me before I could finish."

"How very inconsiderate of me," he said, smile widening, "impeding your espionage like that. By all means, let us listen to it now, Miss Ritchi."

He laughed, and Roxanne gave him an inquiring look.

"This is turning out to be a very exciting first date!" he said. "Tell me, how many laws have we broken so far? Breaking and entering, theft of government property, what I'm pretty sure counts as public indecency—really, it's a shame you won't let me burn down the building; we could add arson to the list—and conspiracy to commit—what are you planning to do with that recording?"

"You and I are going to use it to reform the city government together," Roxanne said.

Megamind's eyes went wide and Roxanne felt a sudden pulse of uncertainty. She watched his face, not sure if—

—had she gone too far? Should she not have asked for—fuck; she hadn't actually _asked_ , had she? She hadn't phrased it as a _question_ at all, had probably sounded so unbelievably arrogant and demanding and—

A slow smile began to spread over Megamind's face.

"Will our reforming the city government together," he asked, "involve you _threatening people with me_ some more?"

Roxanne gave a crack of relieved laughter.

"You really liked that?" she said.

"I really, really did," Megamind murmured, in a low voice that made Roxanne shiver.

His smile widened as he noticed her reaction. Roxanne flushed, but she drew herself up as haughtily as she could—which really only seemed to delight him more.

(he really—he really, truly didn't find her personality grating at all, did he? he really actually liked her.)

"Possibly," she said, raising her chin, "possibly it might involve more of me threatening people with you. But I was thinking we'd start by convincing the mayor to give you an unconditional pardon. I mean—"

Roxanne reached for her handbag and pulled it across the desk towards herself. Then she flipped it open, and drew the special lipstick tube from inside, held the tube up. She uncapped the tube and twisted the base of the lipstick, revealing, instead of a cosmetic, the flash drive she had hidden inside.

"—I do have all this blackmail material," she said. "It'd be a shame to let it go to waste."

Megamind gave a delighted gasp.

"Oh, and I never thought to actually look inside the lipsticks!" he said, "Oooh, that is so very sneaky!"

Roxanne laughed and pulled the file out of the lipstick case, handed it to him.

"And we're adding blackmail to the crimes list!" he said happily, taking the file from her. "This night just gets better and better!"

She laughed again, shaking her head at his enthusiasm.

"Wait," Megamind said, frowning suddenly and tilting his head. "Wait, you—you had the file hidden there this whole time? In your handbag? Not—you didn't even have it on you? Then why would you tell me to search—?"

Roxanne's cheeks flushed, and she gave him a pointed look.

Megamind's eyes widened, and then he laughed, a sound of pure and utterly wicked delight.

Roxanne, face still burning, laughed too, and then she capped the false lipstick again and put it back in her purse.

* * *

 ** _...the end._**

* * *

 **Happy Day 28 of my Birthday Fic Month! Today is the last day of February, and thus the end of the fic month; I hope you all enjoyed it, and that you enjoyed the ending of Lipstick! Thank you for continuing to read and review. I am so glad I got to celebrate my birthday with you all!**


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